You know when someone asks you “if you could do any sport in the Olympics, what would it be?” Most people say something awesome like downhill skiing, luge, gymnastics, swimming or running. Not me. My answers are always the same: ping pong and curling.  And no, I don’t have to choose because ping pong is a summer game and curling, winter.

Not to brag, but ping pong is my sport.


I have never tried curling, but I feel like I could get the hang of it pretty quickly.


I’ve essentially been training for this sport my entire life. Not only do I Swiffer the floors in my apartment on a weekly basis, but I was born and raised in the northeast. I’ve had experience walking quickly on icy surfaces in sneakers for nearly 3 decades worth of winters. Correct me if I’m wrong, but with those qualifications I think I’m a shoo-in.

Anyways, back to ping pong. Growing up, my family had a ping pong table in our house. It was the place where many ridiculously competitive friendly tournaments were played and it was the place where many disagreements were settled. Can’t figure out who’s turn it is to play Sega? Take it to the table. Best out of three points.

To the victor go the spoils

To the victor go the spoils

It was also the place where many victory laps were run. You see, in my family, a “good winner” was whoever could come up with the most excessive victory dance. And if you sang a song about winners ruling and losers drooling, even better.


To be honest, my mother usually won best dance.

Needless to say, with that kind of motivation to spur us on, we all got very good, very quickly. I normally don’t have the best hand-eye coordination, but if I happen to be standing at one end of a ping pong table, watch out. I own you. And yes, I trash talk in ping pong.

See this below? Amateur stuff. You want to see some real ‘pong, hang out with my family over a holiday when everyone is around and there is something important on the line like bragging rights or the last piece of pie.


(For the record, the only other sport I trash talk in is Words with Friends.)

You know, I’m not sure what spurred on this post considering it’s not an Olympic year and neither ping pong nor curling are ever “topical”, oh wait, scratch that, I remember…

It’s because What Would Ryan Lochte Do premiered over the weekend and I recently saw a bunch of commercials for it, which got me thinking about Olympics stuff. Did anyone see the WWRLD premier? Was it good? Just kidding- how bad was it??

If you could do any sport in the Olympics, what would it be??


19 Thoughts on “…A Ping Pong Wizard

  1. I need to go watch that. Good thing I woke up 2 hours before my alarm… I suck at ping pong. Air hockey was my jam.

    • Yeah I saw the good moring america segment on it and they were cracking up over how bad it looked, i need to watch it soon. i couldnt play air hockey to save my life

  2. I would definitely choose gymnastics. I was a gymnast for about 10 years in my younger years…. I miss it a lot!

  3. I keep seeing previews for that show on Hulu but I have this thing against watching shows that I don’t know anything about, even after seeing the previews.

    Can you play Olympic softball? I’m pretty sure that’s an Olympic sport, but that was my jam from, like, 6 to 18. So I’d play that. And if that’s not an option, then rhythmic dancing. 😉

  4. OMG Charlotte tears are rolling down my face I am laughing so hard! This was exactly what the doctor ordered for me today! Thank you so much!!!

  5. I never understood curling…I think people look ridiculous doing it, but that’s just me. :)

    Ping-pong, on the other hand, I have SO much respect for pros. It takes so much skill to do what they do! (Although I suppose the same could be said for any professional sport…)

    If I could do any sport in the Olympics, it’d be tennis. I played tennis for so long, and I still follow it to this day. I do think it’d be really cool to be an Olympic diver though; they are crazy (in the best way possible)!

  6. I think I would do some kind of team sport where I could pretend to get hurt in the first round, and then just sit and watch and cheer everybody else on. I’d be pretty good at that. Or yoga, if that was an Olympic event.

  7. Hahahahahah! I was the ping pong champion in middle school – we should play each other sometime! I am awful at all things athletic. Is baking an Olympic sport??! 😉

    • Lol you’re on!! And baking SHOULD be an olympic sport- I already watch all those baking competition shows on food network, they should make it official!

  8. hahaha you are hilarious. Wish I was also a ping pong aficionado so I could play with your fam. I’ve got some killer dance moves 😉

    Hm, if I could do anything, I’d probably do figure skating. Oh or the trampoline! Who wouldn’t want to spend their days jumping around on a trampoline?

  9. My family is ping pong obsessed, too! But I’m sure your family could crush mine any day 😉 Um, can Sega be an olympic sport?? Because I would choose that! I miss Sega badly and reference it wayyy too often considering it’s now 2013. I just really miss those little guys. Sonic and Tails, they’re the best.

  10. Pingback: Tennis Menace | Commitness To Fitness

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Post Navigation