You know when someone asks you “if you could do any sport in the Olympics, what would it be?” Most people say something awesome like downhill skiing, luge, gymnastics, swimming or running. Not me. My answers are always the same: ping pong and curling.  And no, I don’t have to choose because ping pong is a summer game and curling, winter.

Not to brag, but ping pong is my sport.

Kramer-ping-pong-smash-Seinfeld

I have never tried curling, but I feel like I could get the hang of it pretty quickly.

2010_Winter_Olympics_-_Curling_-_Women_-_USA

I’ve essentially been training for this sport my entire life. Not only do I Swiffer the floors in my apartment on a weekly basis, but I was born and raised in the northeast. I’ve had experience walking quickly on icy surfaces in sneakers for nearly 3 decades worth of winters. Correct me if I’m wrong, but with those qualifications I think I’m a shoo-in.

Anyways, back to ping pong. Growing up, my family had a ping pong table in our house. It was the place where many ridiculously competitive friendly tournaments were played and it was the place where many disagreements were settled. Can’t figure out who’s turn it is to play Sega? Take it to the table. Best out of three points.

To the victor go the spoils

To the victor go the spoils

It was also the place where many victory laps were run. You see, in my family, a “good winner” was whoever could come up with the most excessive victory dance. And if you sang a song about winners ruling and losers drooling, even better.

 

To be honest, my mother usually won best dance.

Needless to say, with that kind of motivation to spur us on, we all got very good, very quickly. I normally don’t have the best hand-eye coordination, but if I happen to be standing at one end of a ping pong table, watch out. I own you. And yes, I trash talk in ping pong.

See this below? Amateur stuff. You want to see some real ‘pong, hang out with my family over a holiday when everyone is around and there is something important on the line like bragging rights or the last piece of pie.

table-tennis

(For the record, the only other sport I trash talk in is Words with Friends.)

You know, I’m not sure what spurred on this post considering it’s not an Olympic year and neither ping pong nor curling are ever “topical”, oh wait, scratch that, I remember…

It’s because What Would Ryan Lochte Do premiered over the weekend and I recently saw a bunch of commercials for it, which got me thinking about Olympics stuff. Did anyone see the WWRLD premier? Was it good? Just kidding- how bad was it??

If you could do any sport in the Olympics, what would it be??

 

So, a long, long time ago, back when the 1990’s was still a decade in it’s infancy, when nobody knew what the heck the internet was and the concept of partying like it’s 1999 still seemed like a futuristic science fiction event, my siblings and I were obsessed with the movie, Ladybugs.

ladybugs cover

Obsessed. It’s the story of one ragtag group of girls who went from zeros to heroes after, unbeknownst to them, a boy in a wig joined their soccer team and they all suddenly gained confidence and athleticism and (spoiler alert) won the championship.

ladybugs team

I have no idea why we were so obsessed never bought the movie because for about a year whenever my parents would take us to the video rental store, it was the only movie my sister, brother and I wanted to rent.

I remember one time my dad was so sick of this movie that he insisted we choose something else. I can’t remember what we ended up getting, but I remember we were back at the rental store a couple hours later to exchange it for Ladybugs.

ladybugs 1

Anyways I bring this up because my favorite show in the world, Happy Endings, had the most brilliant Ladybugs reference a couple weeks ago. My sister and I were so excited. I was not planning on dedicating an entire post to it, I simply felt that the reference should get the attention and accolades it deserves, but suddenly here we are, an entire post. You’re welcome?

max-blum-slipperyslope-650x368

Anyways, in the episode a couple weeks ago, Max (above), the lovable curmudgeon said something witty. And then Brad (the lovable upbeat guy) says:

“He’s not lying. He once Ladybugs’d himself into a junior high girls soccer tournament, bet against the team, and threw the game.”

Worlds best movie reference. Ever. Like every other line in that show, it’s delivered quickly and efficiently so the brilliance and wit of the sentence doesn’t even necessarily hit you in it’s entirety until a second later. (No, I can’t explain what I mean by an “efficient line delivery”… just watch the show, you’ll get it.)

My sister immediately texted me after the episode and said “I thought we were the only people who ever saw that movie, much less appreciated it.” Oh, Sister. Everybody appreciated Ladybugs. Rodney Dangerfield + Jackée Harry = cinematic gold.

ladybugs 2

Anyways the point is: everybody watch Happy Endings. ABC keeps moving it around in the schedule and I’m so worried it’s going to get cancelled. Seriously, watch it. Everybody watch it. It currently airs on Friday nights at 8 and again at 8:30. (Oh, you have a life? S’cool, just watch it later using the show recording device of your choosing. No excuses, just watch it.)

remember when Friends did the promo picture of the cast walking down the street in fancy clothes?? on happy endings they sit on the sidewalk in fancy clothes. ahh its so witty and now.

remember when Friends did the promo picture of the cast walking down the street in fancy clothes?? on happy endings they sit on the sidewalk in fancy clothes. ahh its so witty and now.

And you’ll get a great hour-long ab workout because you won’t stop laughing! (Aaand yes, with that sentence I’m considering my fitness words quota met for today.)

Do you watch Happy Endings?? Have you seen Ladybugs? What sort of nostalgia comes to mind when you think about the early 90s?

 

Welcome back to Mixtape Monday/ Boston Lockdown as Experienced by One Neurotic Blogger…

mixtape monday gty_boston_search_tank_2_nt_130419_wblog

Zomg you guys. Ok, so, last weekend started on Friday when the FBI and Boston Police put the entire city of Boston and the surrounding areas on lockdown. Yeah, LOCKDOWN. It’s this crazy thing where all residents are strongly urged not to leave their homes.

And by strongly urged, I mean it’s pretty much forbidden. One guy on a bike learned that the hard way when he was surrounded by 6 guys with machine guns who took his bike to probe for explosives and left him shaking on the ground once they realized he was just some guy.

US-ATTACKS-BOSTON

If you ever find yourself on lockdown, and you are anything like me, here is what you can expect:

At 5:15am wake up to a text from your mother telling you your life is in immediate danger and to turn on the news. Still sleepy? Good, you’re going to need your wits about you as you watch the news all day.

Find out the entire city of Boston is cancelled while hundreds of trained professionals continue their hunt for an armed and dangerous madman who is probably hiding in or around your house/apartment. Just sit tight.Your morning Bar Method class was called off, as was work, so proceed to watch the news. Without blinking. For 4 hours straight. Convince yourself the suspect is probably hiding in your apartment building stairwell. Continually get up to make sure your door is locked.

Talk to everyone you know about where you’d be hiding if you were on the run. Did you know that all your friends and family are experts in fugitive hiding spots? Turns out they are.  Yell to the FBI operatives on your TV screen to double check manholes, empty subway tunnels, suspicious looking pizza delivery boys and of course, your apartment building stairwell.

Take a break from the news and initiate Lockdown Workout aka Peanut Butter Fingers’ No Nonsense Circuit 

no nonsense circuit

Now, don’t worry about ruining your diet because you haven’t gone grocery shopping this week and have nothing left in your kitchen but blueberries and a couple slices of bread. Drink some of that flat ginger ale in the back of your fridge to refuel.

Antsy yet? Are you thinking a walk around the block won’t kill you? Turn up the news and let them terrify you into thinking it will. Pull dresser in front of the door.

At 4:15, decide that it’s wine time. Lockdown drinking game- drink every time someone on the news says Chechnya. (But only drink a sip lest you run out of alcohol too quickly.)

While you wait for your boyfriend to get home, because he was one of the maniacs who defied orders and went to work, make a mixtape to put on your blog on Monday. Name it: Boston Strong Lockdown Mixtape.

Spotify: Boston Strong Lockdown Mixtape

  1. love lockdown – kanye
  2. cops and robbers – the hoosiers
  3. i fought the law (and the law won) – bobby fuller four
  4. bad boys- inner circle
  5. one way or another- blondie
  6. police on my back- the clash
  7. authority song- john mellencamp
  8. born in the usa- bruce springsteen
  9. renegade- styx
  10. sweet caroline- neil diamond

At 6pm breathe a sigh of relief when the “shelter in place” order is lifted. Although they haven’t caught the guy yet, run out of your apartment with reckless abandon because you miss the outdoors and because you are starving. Go to dinner with your boyfriend at one of the only open restaurants in Boston. Proceed to stand in line for about an hour and a half.

Seeing as how you and about 200 other Bostonians just managed to congregate- which you all pledged not to do upon the terms of your release- check your phone every 45 seconds for updates on the manhunt.

THEY FIND HIM!!

Eat an all-American cheeseburger and drink a Boston-based Sam Adams Seasonal beer to celebrate. Go home and sleep easy for the first time in nearly a week.

THANK YOU FBI, BOSTON POLICE, STATE POLICE, BOSTON BOMB SQUADS, AND EVERYBODY ELSE FOR YOUR TIRELESS WORK AND DEDICATION!

police

Thanks to the effort of all the brave men and women who risked their lives to track down this villain, no civilian was injured during his capture and Boston was pretty much restored to normal by Saturday.

The rest of the weekend was spent going to the gym, visiting the makeshift memorial on Boylston Street, dining out and all that good stuff.

How did your weekend turn out? What is your favorite celebration meal??

 

It’s Foodstuff Friday!

Hey there food fans, it’s almost the weekend! Finally! What a week. With everything going on in Boston, this week has felt 2 years long and I’m very much looking forward to the weekend.

On today’s edition of Foodstuff Friday, please welcome back to the blog, the Smoothie Aficionado herself- Bevan!

Bevan!

Bevan!

I realize that this category is called Foodstuff Friday and not Smoothie Friday, but I’ve been obsessed with these smoothies lately, and I think they’re just a really nice way to end the week. They’re great after a workout, or for breakfast, or a light dinner, or a snack, I could go on and on.

It’s like, smoothie magic. Smagic? Yes I’m going with smagic.

Today’s smoothie is perfectly sweet and indulgent and loaded with superfoods so you won’t feel guilty afterwards. I mean really it’s an all around win/win.  If you’re feeling down, this smoothie can pick you right back up. And if you’re already feeling up, well, it can keep you up. It’s – dare I say it – the perfect food.

spartancheerleaders

(Like the perfect cheer… but edible.)

Anyhoozle, today’s super satisfying smoothie concoction is called the Everything But the Kitchen Sink Smoothie because this thing is packed with yummy stuff.

Ingredients:

  • 1 scoop vanilla whey protein
  • 1/2 handful frozen mango
  • 1 frozen banana
  • handful of frozen strawberries
  • coconut flakes
  • 1 scoop almond butter
  • 1 cup coconut water
  • 1 cup vanilla hemp milk
  • 2 tbsps maca powder
  • 1 tbsp bee pollen

Blend all that stuff together and bam! Smagic!

smagic

Questions-

Do you have anything fun planned for this weekend?

Generally speaking, do you plan out your weekends or do you just see where the wind takes you?