So, I know that I’ve been talking a lot about food and eating habits this month, but it just so happens I have a lot to say on the subject so, I’m going to keep going. I hope that’s okay with all of you.


Yay! Woohoo!

So today I’d like to delve further into eating habits. Or more specifically, eating speed. Meaning, the speed at which one eats. Personally, I am what absolutely everybody refers to as: a very fast eater.

When it comes to running, I guarantee that all of you can lap me even if I have a head start. But when it comes to eating, I can finish off a plate before you even pick up your fork.


I know. I know, it’s a really flattering skill, especially on dates and important business meetings. 


Here’s your 6-step guide to acquiring this life skill:

  1. be really hungry when the food arrives.
  2. cease all conversation as soon as the plates hit the table.
  3. pick your fork up.
  4. put your head down.
  5. inhale all the food.
  6. forget that you even have a beverage until after you’re done.

Bam. The slow eaters guide to shoveling food in your mouth quicker.


HOWEVER, as much as this is a skill I know you’d all love to have, and if you do have it, it’s one in which you undoubtedly take an immense amount pride, it’s not exactly a “good” quality.

I know, I know, if you’ve ever been to dinner with someone like me you’re all: “that is so ladylike and cool the way she makes her spaghetti look like a tiny tornado just touched down between her plate and her mouth.” But you know what, eating fast is not as glamorous as it seems.

First of all, actually chewing your food leads to less indigestion. Second of all, you might actually find that you do not require as much food as you think you do if you slow down the pace at which you consume it.

It takes the brain a good 20-30 minutes to register that it is no longer hungry. It’s literally impossible to know how much food it takes to actually satiate you when you inhale all the food in 15 minutes flat. I certainly have NO idea. If you’re like me, you’re probably consuming way more food than you need, which- forget about the extra calories- can lead to an overall feeling of sluggishness, stomach pains, headaches, the unyielding urge to lie down, etc etc.

full cat

At the expense of my fellow fast eating family and friends, I’ve decided I’m going to try to slow down at meals. Why does this come at their expense you wonder? Well you see, when a fast eater has dinner with another fast eater, we “get” each other. (Fast eaters, amirite?) When a fast eater has dinner with a slow eater, we get very fidgety as we wait for you to finish and secretly will you to eat faster with our minds.

But, starting today I’m going to join the slow eaters and do things slow eaters do. I’m going to actually contribute to the conversation after the food comes. I’m going to sip my beverage throughout the meal. And dare I say it- I might even put my fork down half way through.


We’ll see how this goes.

What are your thoughts on this matter?? Are you a slow eater or a fast eater?

Fast eaters/ ex-fast eaters- have you ever tried slowing down before? What were the results?

Slow eaters- do you get anxious eating with fast eaters?










30 Thoughts on “Thanks For the Spoon, But I Brought My Own Shovel

  1. *Raises fist in solidarity for warp-speed eating*

    I’ve been a light-speed eater all my life. I often feel like a Conehead, to be honest. I’ve tried slowing down, but that didn’t work (chewing slowly = stultifying drudgery for me) — so I started serving myself smaller portions, taking a brief break for my brain to catch up with my stomach, and then going back for more if I’m still hungry. The smaller portions at least give me a visual cue for when to pause: once I’ve finished one serving, I know I’ve reached a good break point. I give myself 5-10 minutes, gauge how el estomago is doing, and if it’s still yelling FEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEE, then I go back for round two. (Or three. It’s been known to happen, um, damn near every day.)

    • ohh I love the smaller portions technique! That way you’ll really have to take notice of what you already ate and that you are going back for more if you need it. Thats a great tip! Thanks girlie!!

  2. Just wait until you have kids! If you want to eat, you better inhale your food! You can forget about actually tasting it! You are lucky to have this important life skill now. It will make the transition to parenthood easier! Another important parenting tip – never share FroYo with a three year old. Just get her her own bowl. Everyone’s happier that way!

    • Hahaha I literally lol’d at this comment :) I will put these notes away until I need them, but I like this perspective- I’m looking forward to this time when speed eating will come in handy!

  3. Laughed so hard at this: “When a fast eater has dinner with a slow eater, we get very fidgety as we wait for you to finish and secretly will you to eat faster with our minds.”

    I’m totally with you girlie. I INHALE my food. I’m always done eating in like, 10 minutes flat, regardless of how much food I have in front of me. I started to get a little better at consciously slowing down nearer to the end of the school year, but ever since I got home I’ve reverted to my vacuum-cleaner-like-habits. I just like food so much… 😛

    • hahaha i just like food so much too :) Its just so good. im glad we have some solidarity on the vacuum technique. i give you so much credit for making the conscious effort to slow down at school, i think i ate my fastest during college.

  4. I’d love to be able to make my spaghetti look like a tiny tornado! Girl’s got skiiiiiills! 😉 Seriously though, I have the complete opposite problem – I’m a ridiculously slow eater. I remember back when I was growing up and having dinner at the table, I’d always be the last one eating, with pretty much half my plate left when everyone else was long done. I’ve tried to speed up, and can do it when life necessitates it, but that usually leaves me feeling less-than-great. My stomach can be super wonky, so making sure I chew, chew, chew is kind of a big deal. Blah.

    • Ahh send some of your slow eating vibes my way please! :) I’m so jealous, because I get a stomach ache from eating too fast too, but it doesn’t seem to stop me. Perhaps chewing properly is the secret. haha it seems so basic but its actually a revolutionary concept for me at the moment. :)

  5. I’m the fastest eater EVER. I need to work on it because I end up eating so fast that I don’t realize I’m full and when I’m with people who eat at a normal pace, I finish way before them haha

    • Lol ex-act-ly. Story of my life, girl. Whats funny is that most of my friends and family are also fast eaters, so i never even realized that it was weird until i met some slow eaters, and finally realized that I was the one doing it wrong :)

  6. I definitely need to slow down. I’ve made myself aware of it in the past but never stuck with it. I forget that I am eating so fast because I’m usually thinking about other things and not even paying attention. This would be a good resolution for me too. I’m going to join you in this!

    • Yay Britt! Awesome, I’m so glad to hear you’re on board. I just feel like it might be a really simple solution to some seemingly complex problems a lot of people have with food and digestion. we’ll find out :)

  7. Isn’t it all about finishing first…LOL! I would definitely get the gold at every meal!..But. but BUT…I know if I would/could slow down ahhhh the possiblities. Today I am grateful I am able to eat…Tomorrow I will work on slowing the speed down!!!

    • Hahaha we’re not competitive people… but everything is a competition. and yes, always be grateful for what you have, and then use your good fortune to improve yourself and the lives of others. thank you for that excellent reminder :)

  8. Ahhh!! Haha!! can we go on a date so I can watch you speed eat? I mean, come on, it’s a talent in some parts of the world! I would be your biggest cheerleader! But seriously, you’re right, it’s not really a good thing and leads to digestion issues. I’m guilty of this on some occasions but am also trying to be more conscious of the fact that the food will still be in front of me no matter what pace I eat at. :) It’s as if it’s going to disappear if I don’t scarf it down!

    • LOL! We can go to dinner anytime! And that is EXACTLY what I need to remind myself- the food will still be there no matter what pace I eat it. Yeah, you nailed it- i eat it like it’ll disappear if i don’t act quickly. Alright, that’ll be what i tell myself in my slow eating trials. thank you!

  9. I am a crazy fast eater and my boyfriend is the slowest eater known to man. So, I finish my food quickly, get antsy that he’s not gone, and “help” him by eating off of his plate.

    I’m SUCH a good girlfriend.

    • Giiirl you ARE a good girlfriend to help your boyfriend out like that :) I do that too… especially with side dishes. My boyfriend will look up and half his fries will be gone. I’m not hungry, I’m just trying to help!

  10. I can totally relate to this post, haha! I love your 6 tips for being a fast eater, so hysterical :) When I am hungry, my boyfriend says that I stop talking and start chewing ferociously. Apparently the hungrier I am, the louder my chewing becomes. I swear I eat with my mouth closed, I just want to chew and get it in ma’ belly! When I am not ravenous, i eat at a normal pace. When I was little though I used to eat really quickly and my grandmother told me that every bite I take I should chew 30x before swallowing. That is TOO MUCH chewing lol I didn’t have any food left to chomp on. Cute post, good luck with the slow down! Thanks so much for visiting my blog, excited to explore yours!

    • Hahaha i do the same thing with chewing! Actually, no i think the hungrier I am the less i chew, so i probably just start swallowing things whole. I can’t be sure though because when I’m that hungry everything is just a blur :) And oh I know what you mean- ive been told to chew X amount of times too, but how. is. that. possible? Theres nothing left after the first 3 or 4 chews!

  11. um, yes. To all of this. I’m like a dog.

    I think the worst part about eating faster than your dining partner is that you have to sit and WATCH them eat, while you secretly wish that you were eating, too. It’s like, “I wish I had eaten more slowly so that I could still be eating now” and then your friend catches you staring at their food and it’s super awkward.

    I have tried to slow down and I sometimes succeed. But then I started taking night classes and actually going to the gym, plus work, so I often HAVE to eat really quickly. It’s a useful skill!
    Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted…This One Dog That I (Finally) Met, Free Bagels, and Super Official Blogger ShitMy Profile

    • Hahaha I lol’d at the part about when your friend catches you staring at their food and it gets awkward. lol every. time. It’s true sometimes the ability to eat fast does come in handy though! (ps- i just installed commentluv on my blog like a half hour ago and you’re the first one to post since- I’m so psyched it works! yay!)

  12. I’m a super slow eater and my friends hate it! If I eat too quickly though, I’ll get bloated and indigestion. No fun!
    Alyssa @ Road to RD recently posted…Healthy Living SurveyMy Profile

  13. I am just like you and inhale my food as fast as possible!! It’s like I think someone is going to steal it or something, lol. I am going to try and join you in eating slower. It is truly so much healthier. And I love that cat, that is exactly how I feel after I stuff my face! :)
    Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health recently posted…Black Kale & Mango Salad with Walnut Crusted Goat CheeseMy Profile

  14. You know, I’m actually one of those people that’s the exact opposite! I mean, I LOVE to have meals as kind of a communal share time, so I’m that girl who tells this ridiculously long story that everyone has probably heard, meanwhile everyone else is nodding politely and inhaling their pasta tornadoes. Then I’m done talking and the check came and I have to scarf the last 2/3 of my cold food so we can leave before the bus boys have to mop up.

    So, okay, maybe I am a fast eater. I just take FOREVER to actually start eating.

    But I know what you mean about the whole giving your body time to feel full thing. I usually just will eat about half my meal, get up and go to the bathroom or have a big glass of water, and then if I’m still hungry I eat about half the second half. And so on and so forth. But yeah. I’m picking up what you’re putting down, sista’. :)
    Chelsea recently posted…Things I KnowMy Profile

    • hahahaha i love the first part of that comment. and i love that idea to have a glass of water in the middle of a meal- that makes SO much sense! its so simple and SO briliant! I’ve tried it at the beginning, and its all eh, i’d like my food now. but a pause and some water mid-way through probably makes a huge difference!! Thanks my dear!!

  15. I have had this dilemma! I used to eat sooo fast and didn’t realize my portions were a bit out of whack too. I first started using smaller plates (like a salad plate), so it looks like more food than it actually is, and I serve myself at the exact same time as my boyfriend, and don’t eat until he starts eating. He’s a pretty slow eater, so it kind of helps to have him pace me. I also always have an icewater with dinner, and have a goal to at least make it through half the glass of water during my meal.

    • Oh i like the smaller plate idea! And I tried pacing myself with my boyfriend last night- and it worked- I only had 2 pieces of pizza instead of my usual 3 :) I also made sure to drink water, so that no doubt helped too. it’s hard to re-learn how to eat!!

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