Happy Wednesday all! We have a lot to cover today so let’s just get right down to it shall we? First up, as I mentioned on Monday- QUIDDITCH EXISTS!

I had no idea! Y’all know I love me some Harry Potter. Turns out quidditch is actually a big thing on college campuses and there are tournaments and people are actually really good at it.

But as I watched the players run around with those broomsticks between their legs, it was with simultaneous awe and a modicum of “this is hil-ARIOUS”

It looks so silly! And very uncomfortable in the, ahem, lower region. And then I realized it’s a contact sport, and it kept making me wince. It just seems like accidents could happen very easily… which of course makes this game even MORE hilarious:

caddyshack crotch shot

Ha ha ha if a shot to the crotch isn’t funny, I don’t know what is. And if you live in America I know you agree because America’s Funniest Home Videos has been on the air for like 105 years, and it’s nothing but shots to the crotch. Therefore, we here in America must find them the funniest of all the shots.

Anyways, Eric and I didn’t stick around (get it? stick?) too long. You see, we were actually watching as we lay on a dock on the Charles River soaking up the sun. The game was taking place on a grassy strip of land a little ways up from us.

Here, I drew you a picture:

quidditch field 2

This is why I don’t have photos of the actual game, we were too far away. BUT I kinda think everyone should be required to watch muggle quidditch this way- aka from a distance, through some trees and some bushes, with the sun in their eyes and sitting at a lower vantage point than the field because from my perspective, it almost looked like the players were flying.

Almost.

But it’s a great trick nonetheless.

michael-and-gob-gif-aagq1o

And this brings me to the next point I touched upon on Monday: sunburns. (Even though this relates to an activity that is the literal antithesis of anything athletic or fitness related- lying in the sun- sun safety is always relevant for outdoor worker-outers so I’ve decided to go ahead with my story :) )

So, I was in charge of spraying the suntan lotion onto Eric and myself on the dock. Going forward, I am no longer in charge of it.

We were only out there for about an hour or so, but Eric is currently sporting a burn on his upper body in the shape of a zigzag. According to me, the wind must have taken all the suntan lotion when I sprayed it onto him. According to him, my spray technique- which resembled the way Zorro signs his Z in the air with his sword- was more about pizzazz and showmanship than coverage.

His account may or may not be completely accurate.

But in my defense again, the suntan lotion was of the really greasy variety and I couldn’t tell if I missed a spot because he was shimmering so brilliantly in the sun. In retrospect, I now know that he was actually in the process of roasting like a turkey:

Eric- I think you missed a spot.

Me- Inconceivable! You are a greasy mess.

Eric- No, I feel a non-greasy spot.

Me- Inconceivable!

Eric- Are you sure? Feel it.

Me- (with my greasy hands from all the lotion I sprayed on myself) Feels greasy to me.

Eric- Ok fine.

(Later that night, Eric turns around to reveal that he is a zigzaggy lobster)

Eric- You missed a spot.

Me-

inconceivable

Eric-

inconceivable (1)

Ahh well, at least we got an awesome Princess Bride reference out of it :)

Lesson: sometimes comedy hurts y’all. Other lesson: always make sure you’re completely slathered up before going out in the summer sun!

Have you ever had a sunburn in the shape of something funny?

Are you a spray or a regular suntan lotion type of person? (I think I’m now a regular lotion person)

What’s your SPF? (30! but sometimes a lot lower than that)

 

42 Thoughts on ““Illusions, Michael.”

  1. Poor Eric! The spray stuff is good with lil ones who don’t want to stand still while you rub in lotion. But always lotion for face, ears & necks. LOVE the Princess Bride!!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…Mountain Born – Kuhl Aktiv Pant ReviewMy Profile

    • I love that movie too, I always watch it if it’s on. And yeah, I think we’re going to switch to the regular lotion, at least in the beginning of summer while we’re still pale and missing a spot can quickly lead to burns!!

  2. This is absolutely hilarious! It’s so easy to miss spots with spray sunscreen…but rubbing in lotion is a pain in the butt, hah. My sister and I watch AFV every week without fail and we’re actually dying by the end of it!
    Beth @ Mangoes and Miles recently posted…Hard Work Beats Talent When Talent Doesn’t Work HardMy Profile

    • Hahaha i used to watch it allll the time when i was younger and bob saget was the host :) it’s so easy to miss a spot i feel like i need “applying sunscreen for dummies”

  3. Quidditch?? Lol I’ve never even heard of such a thing. It sounds a little ridiculous, though… and looks quite painful. What I want to know is who comes up with these sorts of games?! Was it intended to be a cleverly disguised method of castration? 😯

    And oh girl, don’t even get me started on how much I hate applying sunscreen. Seriously the bane of my existence. I’d LOVE to be able to use the spray ones since they’re so much more convenient, but they never work…
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. WIAW … it’s all about me .My Profile

    • I KNOW. the spray is soo tempting with it’s ease and quickness to apply but evidently, there’s no substitute for the regular kind. although with that one it’s easy to leave a hand print which i’ve accidentally done to people before while getting their backs. i’m just the worst with sunscreen

  4. ahhh, the sun!

    Fortunately, my husband is absolutely TERRIFIED of the sun and always covers up. Like, wears a collared long sleeve shirt year-round. So, I’m never really in charge of sunscreening him, which works for me. Sounds like a lot of pressure!
    Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted…Blogger Meetup, Intuitive Eating Book ReviewMy Profile

  5. Hahahahaha this is why I read your blog. Laughter. Wow to quidditch, I can totally imagine it being too much of a ball buster to become famous on ESPN! << See what IIIII did there? Ha! I did the same thing to my man at the beach – thought I sprayed him everywhere but I ended up giving him some red zig zags. Poor guy. :) I like the spray and I always stick with 30. But, I always reapply excessively. Once I hit end of July, August, I sort of give up on using sunscreen. I'm horrid, I know. Have a wonderful day!!!
    Meghan @ fitnesscrEATures recently posted…When It’s GoodMy Profile

    • Oh i do the same thing- i get wayyy more lax with the sunscreen once I’m already tan. i know its soo bad and i can still burn that way and yadda yadda wrinkles, but yeah, i’m totally guilty of that too :) have a great day girlie!

  6. Poor poor Eric!….but the whole thought and information about the quidditch game has inspired me to make-up a new game for some great family competition, whoops I mean family fun…p.s.I don’t burn…BUT I’ve heard it’s painful (Tee hee hee)
    carlotta recently posted…Monday’s View!…Two Days Late! AGAIN!!!!My Profile

  7. Bahahaha. Let me just tell you. On our honeymoon to Lake Tahoe we went kayaking. I don’t burn easily, but my poor fair skinned husband is another story. We spent MAYBE an hour on the lake, and when we got back to the shore he was FRIED from mid calf to the bottom of his short line above his knee. Only on the front. What a glorious kayaking sunburn it was!
    Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…it was an off dayMy Profile

  8. Hilarious as usual :) Ok, first I want to see one of these matches. I am not yet sure that I want to play, but I definitely want to watch and scream out HP related things. Muggle! Second, I just read an article that spray suntan lotion is worthless, so whoever made the decision to buy that type of lotion (I’m hoping Eric) is actually at fault….either way, you gotta burn to tan, so it will work out in the end. LOVE the Princess Bride reference!
    Natalie@fit.fun.femme. recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – Running BuddiesMy Profile

    • Lol, I love controlling the blog and therefore blaming things on whomsoever I choose, so yep it was all Eric’s fault for buying it :) That’s so cool that it had nothing to do with my Zorro-like application… I can’t wait for him to read this comment :) And yes, we are pretty much living proof the spray doesn’t work. we werent even out there that long!

  9. if growing up with American’s Funniest Home Videos has taught me anything, it’s that there is absolutely nothing funnier than a shot to the crotch. Except for when the act of hitting is performed by a small child. So many hours of entertainment on one show..
    And I am terrible with sunburns. Everytime I end up missing spots around my bathing suit, so I end up with weird red splotches around the edges. Not particularly attractive.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…WIAW: Cake Fiend.My Profile

    • It’s SO hard. Whether it’s a missed splotch or an accidental hand print from not rubbing in completely- its amazing anyone is capable of getting an even tan in my opinion!

  10. Aww, sunburns are the Worst! But it IS so easy to miss a spot with the spray suntan lotion. Once (when I was a teen) I made the mistake of thinking that I was sunburn-proof, since I’m already of the browner complexion. 😉 Oh how wrong and PAINFUL I/it was that day at the beach. Now, I’m all about the suntan lotion! Lol. :)
    Koryn @ High Heels & Healthy Alternatives recently posted…A Mostly (ok, Partially) Organic WIAW 😉My Profile

    • Hahaha ok even with my ridiculously pale complexion, I STILL sometimes consider myself sunburn proof even though I’ve had years of evidence to the contrary. I also use the excuse- “its not like boston is near the equator, the sun cant be that strong” and i always regret those thoughts after a day (or an hour) in the sun :)

  11. Omg this post had me laughing. Inconceivable! Lol! And I hear ya on the sunburn – I am in the midst of a horrible one. Sniffle. Sunscreen is hard, y’all!

    Yeah every time I think about the quidditch, I think how much that would hurt. Ow!
    Ari @ The Pace of it All recently posted…Workout clothing wish list…My Profile

    • lol doesnt it look so painful!? thats all i think about when i watch them bump into each other with those sticks between their legs! good luck nursing that burn of yours, hope it fades to tan quickly!

  12. :( Poor Eric! Tell him I feel his pain – those of us of the muddled European genealogy tend to not do well in the sun, and as such I’ve taken an extreme liking to treadmills and large hats 😉 I’m all about the sun safety, though, because nothing puts a kink in my chain like not being able to move from a sunburn coma! lol. Also, double points today m’dear for not only a WONDERFUL Princess Bride reference (although I’m not sure there is a bad PB reference) but also Arrested Development. Just because :)
    Chelsea recently posted…What I Ate Wednesday (Here Goes Nothing!)My Profile

    • Lol, why thank you kindly chica! And omg- why dont I own a huge hat?! this needs to change pronto, i LOVE big hats and protecting myself from the summer sun is the perfect excuse to wear one!! Ahh i love this idea!!

  13. Tara on June 5, 2013 at 1:15 pm said:

    Thanks Charlotte! After reading your post title, Gob’s magician theme song has been stuck in my head all morning. It’s the final couuuntdownnnn

  14. AHhh poor Eric! I have def. been there before.

    I have never heard of that game, its in real life?! crazy!!! Looks like it would be entertaining to watch for sure! Happy Wednesday! hope he feels better!!!! Lots of aloe vera! I keep a plant in my house because this happens to me ALL of the time LOL
    breanna recently posted…Happy National Running day!My Profile

    • Ha! smart move! i just went to the store to get a huge bottle of it. eric was like “i dont need all that” and i was like “i need it- even though I don’t need it right now, the summer is still young”

  15. I need to go see a Quidditch game. Emphasis on the NEED. And on the QUIDDITCH, because that’s important too.

    Ugh, I hate sunscreen. I put it on my face every day (if I remember) but the rest of my bod is usually neglected.
    Carly @ Snack Therapy recently posted…Super BitchMy Profile

  16. Any post with BOTH Happy Potter AND Princess Bride is a winner in my book.

    My family tans really well, so I’m usually not too nuts about the sunscreen but the hubs burns like a lobster so I’m always in charge or lathering as well. I feel your pain girl – so hard to know if you got every.single.little.spot. Hopefully Eric will burn to brown?
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  17. I’ve never read Harry Potter but my uncle loves it and he also likes Game of Thrones so you might want to check that show out if you haven’t already. And the zig zag sun burn is hilarious! I usually use SPF 30 and I like the spray. I think I read that anything less than 15 is a waste of time.
    Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health recently posted…Ricotta, Mascarpone, Goat Cheese & Honey SpreadMy Profile

  18. I don’t know my SPF, and I don’t think I’ve ever burnt funnily … would be entertaining :) And I am definitely a spray person; lotion takes too long!
    Liz @ The Girl on Fire Now recently posted…5 French RacesMy Profile

  19. Omigod, this made me laugh out loud – and let me tell you, I needed that. If Michael is lucky, the Zoro-burn will turn into a Zoro-tan…and he’ll be the hottest dude in Boston! 😉
    Lillian @ Seize the Latte recently posted…WIAW: Sensible Snacking + A Study in Comfort FoodMy Profile

  20. Why, oh why, did I call Eric “Michael”? My brain is apparently crossing its wires between Arrested Development and your real life. Your mom’s name isn’t Lucille, is it?!
    Lillian @ Seize the Latte recently posted…WIAW: Sensible Snacking + A Study in Comfort FoodMy Profile

  21. LOL i can totally relate. My boyfriend got SO mad at me the last time I slathered his on and missed quite a few spots! I always use SPF 30. I don’t want any wrinkles!
    Meredith recently posted…Super-Crunchy (Baked!) Chicken TendersMy Profile

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