Happy Wednesday all! We have a lot to cover today so let’s just get right down to it shall we? First up, as I mentioned on Monday- QUIDDITCH EXISTS!
I had no idea! Y’all know I love me some Harry Potter. Turns out quidditch is actually a big thing on college campuses and there are tournaments and people are actually really good at it.
But as I watched the players run around with those broomsticks between their legs, it was with simultaneous awe and a modicum of “this is hil-ARIOUS”
It looks so silly! And very uncomfortable in the, ahem, lower region. And then I realized it’s a contact sport, and it kept making me wince. It just seems like accidents could happen very easily… which of course makes this game even MORE hilarious:
Ha ha ha if a shot to the crotch isn’t funny, I don’t know what is. And if you live in America I know you agree because America’s Funniest Home Videos has been on the air for like 105 years, and it’s nothing but shots to the crotch. Therefore, we here in America must find them the funniest of all the shots.
Anyways, Eric and I didn’t stick around (get it? stick?) too long. You see, we were actually watching as we lay on a dock on the Charles River soaking up the sun. The game was taking place on a grassy strip of land a little ways up from us.
Here, I drew you a picture:
This is why I don’t have photos of the actual game, we were too far away. BUT I kinda think everyone should be required to watch muggle quidditch this way- aka from a distance, through some trees and some bushes, with the sun in their eyes and sitting at a lower vantage point than the field because from my perspective, it almost looked like the players were flying.
But it’s a great trick nonetheless.
And this brings me to the next point I touched upon on Monday: sunburns. (Even though this relates to an activity that is the literal antithesis of anything athletic or fitness related- lying in the sun- sun safety is always relevant for outdoor worker-outers so I’ve decided to go ahead with my story )
So, I was in charge of spraying the suntan lotion onto Eric and myself on the dock. Going forward, I am no longer in charge of it.
We were only out there for about an hour or so, but Eric is currently sporting a burn on his upper body in the shape of a zigzag. According to me, the wind must have taken all the suntan lotion when I sprayed it onto him. According to him, my spray technique- which resembled the way Zorro signs his Z in the air with his sword- was more about pizzazz and showmanship than coverage.
His account may or may not be completely accurate.
But in my defense again, the suntan lotion was of the really greasy variety and I couldn’t tell if I missed a spot because he was shimmering so brilliantly in the sun. In retrospect, I now know that he was actually in the process of roasting like a turkey:
Eric- I think you missed a spot.
Me- Inconceivable! You are a greasy mess.
Eric- No, I feel a non-greasy spot.
Eric- Are you sure? Feel it.
Me- (with my greasy hands from all the lotion I sprayed on myself) Feels greasy to me.
Eric- Ok fine.
(Later that night, Eric turns around to reveal that he is a zigzaggy lobster)
Eric- You missed a spot.
Ahh well, at least we got an awesome Princess Bride reference out of it
Lesson: sometimes comedy hurts y’all. Other lesson: always make sure you’re completely slathered up before going out in the summer sun!
Have you ever had a sunburn in the shape of something funny?
Are you a spray or a regular suntan lotion type of person? (I think I’m now a regular lotion person)
What’s your SPF? (30! but sometimes a lot lower than that)