What’s that you say? No time to work out? No problem! Here are two ways to get your sweat on from the comfort of your home, without even trying! None of that bulky equipment necessary.
No dvds needed!
And you guys can finally quit using your, well, this:
Although I can’t claim the following exercises are scientifically proven, I have tested both of them personally, and I can tell you they really get the heart rate up.
The first tip comes from years of growing up with parents who set the answering machine on the home phone line to pick up after a total of three rings in a 3-story house.
TIP #1: Get The Phone
Step 1: Pretend you still live in 1996. If you don’t have a home phone line, get one. And insist that people call you on that instead of your cell phone.
Step 2: Set the answering machine on your home phone line to pick up after 3 rings. Three little measly rings. Make sure the only wall-mounted phone with a cord attached is in the kitchen and that none of your cordless phones are ever charged properly.
Step 3: When the phone rings, jump into action like you’re a firefighter and the alarm just went off at the firehouse. Drop whatever you’re doing, leap up and sprint through the house to the kitchen, because otherwise there is no way you’re getting that call. Is that a couch in your way? No time to go around it. Vault yourself over it. If you lose your footing on the dismount, just drop and roll, but remember to tuck your neck. (safety first!) If you’re completely out of breath and wheezing by the time you say ‘hello,’ that just means you’re doing it right.
The second tip comes from a lifetime of being completely and utterly forgetful.
TIP #2: Lose Your Mind
Step 1: Make sure all your important things that you might need during the day such as your wallet, keys, purse, etc are on the top floor of wherever you live.
Step 2: Proceed to exit the house/ apartment/ 5th floor walk-up and forget them all.
Step 3: Go back up the stairs to retrieve them and try leaving the house again. Half-way down the stairs, remember something else you forgot. Turn around and go back up. Try leaving again, and this time get as far as your car. Oh no, did you forget the keys? Perfect, this is where the workout really gets good because now you’re late for work and starting to sweat.
Now RUN back up the stairs, and start quickly lifting heavy things that your keys could possibly be hiding under or behind. Drop to the floor like you’re planking to look for them under the couch. No dice. Spring back up like you’re doing a burpee, then drop down again because you think you see something sparkly. Nope, just some spilled glitter (because of course). Run in panicked circles until you hear your keys jingling in your pocket. Sprint down the stairs and out of your house and don’t stop until you reach the car.
You sweaty yet?
So there you go, all of the fitness sense with none of the common sense.
What’s your favorite workout that isn’t technically a workout?