So, here in the northeast, we think its hilarious when southerners complain about the cold. Like how whole cities will shut down for a quarter inch of snow or how you guys will bundle up when its 69 degrees out.

snowless

Haha, that’s adorable.

Well, also in the northeast, we freak out about the heat. It’s been in the 90s around here for the past few days with a humidity index around 182 degrees Fahrenheit. (I’m rounding.) But some local news corespondent interviewed some tourists from Alabama on the news the other day about the heat- not realizing they were from Alabama- and they were like, “Heat? What heat? Ha ha ha! You guys should come visit us sometime.” Evidently, they thought it was rather nice out.

So, while Birmingham may come to a screeching halt in the snow, I come to a screeching halt when I encounter weather conditions better suited for Satan himself.

hot as hell

Top 8 Ways You Know The Heat Is Too Damn High

8. Being “punctual” means being 30 minutes late. Now normally, come rain, snow or Sharknado, I am ALWAYS on time, if not early. But how does anyone be on time for anything when it’s this hot out? ย “I’m a few blocks away, see you in a sec” means I’ve taken refuge in an air conditioned car/ store/ cold public fountain. See you eventually.

7. Looking presentable is relative. I have to walk to work in an exercise tank because I’m so sweaty by the time I arrive, to stay in the same shirt would be an assault on the senses of everyone around me.

excessive-sweating

6. Exercising outside is now a form of suicide.

5. “Swamp ass” is an acceptable form of time. “Hey, what time is the meeting later?” “Swamp ass.”

4. Outdoor dining is a form of torture. How do y’all eat outside when its in the 90s? “Oh but there’s a nice breeze,” someone always coos. No. Nope. Wrong. Oven hot air against my neck does not a nice breeze make.

3. Hydrated shmydrated. It’s impossible to stay hydrated when its this hot out. The moment I go outside I lose all my water through my armpits.

2. Hair.

monica frizzy hair

Don’t even get me started.

monica frizzy hair cant hear

1. The impossible quest to dress appropriately for both the indoors and outdoors. While it’s 102 outside, it’s about 32 in office buildings. Ideally, I like my outside clothes to be conducive to running through sprinklers and my indoor clothes to keep my hands warm enough so I can type without pain. Realistically, neither of those end up panning out.

Since this heat wave is encompassing just about the entire continent of North America, how are you fairing?? Are you still exercising outside in these temps?

Southerners- do you even notice its warm out?

Northerners- I’m already psyched for fall, what about you?

67 Thoughts on “Top 8 Ways You Know The Heat Is Too Damn High

  1. I grew up in the deep South, but the older I get, the less I can tolerate the heat. Might have something to do with the fact that I no longer spend my entire summer playing in the pool. I’ve gotten soft! And who’s brilliant idea was it to sign up for a fall marathon which requires training in July. Damn, it was MY stupid idea! It’s been in the 90s with thick-as-soup humidity here. I ran a trail race on Tuesday night, and as I was standing at the start line (key word standing), I was already drenched and yet to run an inch. And don’t even get me started on my hair. YIKES! But my favorite part of this post. #1! Going from the oven to the freezer is the WORST!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…Old School Blogging – Fabulous FivesMy Profile

    • You must have more of that deep south heat resistance than you realize- im not sure i could even walk a trail race – much less run- in this weather :) im really sensitive though, i get pretty bad heat stroke about once a summer. and yeah i always get a hot coffee every morning bc even though its the LAST thing i want after my walk to work as i stand there SWEATING as i order, as soon as i get up to my office im so glad i have something warm as i pile on the layers.

  2. hahahaha i love all of this but #7 and #4 especially. bring on the fall! but then, fall will turn into winter and the dreaded snow and i’ll have to drive in the snow, and i’ll be complaining ‘wahh give me 95 degrees any day!’ haha. never happy.
    Caitlyn @ City and the Cubicle recently posted…Tuesdays Are My New Favorite DayMy Profile

    • I KNOW, i love fall but i cant stand winter. well, i can stand winter up until about jan 1, then jan 1- june 1 (because we barely get spring here in boston) im wishing for 95 degrees!

  3. Yes to #1. I have that exact same problem in winter though. How can I wear a cute sweater if the office has the heater set to “scorch???”
    Tiff recently posted…Wine & DancingMy Profile

  4. OMG…it’s HOT! I’ve been living in sundresses and pretty much have given up on my hair. You can barely breath when you go outside…the air is so thick! Don’t get me wrong, I like the heat, but this is just craziness! Yup, definitely ready for fall!
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…I Need a ChallengeMy Profile

  5. Haha this is too funny. I’m down in VA where it’s also super hot and humid. We had temps of 103 this time last year so it actually doesn’t feel that bad! I wear my hair in a bun most days when it’s like this cause there’s no point to making it looks nice!
    Kelly @ Runs for Food recently posted…Why You Should Eat Cookies For BreakfastMy Profile

    • Oh same here- i wear my hair in a bun every day. i jump out of the shower, barely dry it, throw it in a bun and go (although, honestly, i cant blame my lack of hair care entirely on the heat, thats pretty much what i do all winter too :) )

  6. #6 – suicide. All I can remember when I was a kid was going outside. All. Day. Long! I didn’t notice the heat. Now I step outside and begin to look for shade or air conditioning. What happened? Today at lunch I am going to venture outside for a run. Hope I make it back.
    Tom T. recently posted…Quick, Easy, PestoMy Profile

  7. hahaha I have a few friends in Texas and they flat out laugh at me when I tell them that i’m dying when it’s 90+ degrees out there. We got slammed with a major storm last night. You know those storms that knock out power for ohh 8 hours only to make the weather even more humid and gross?? Yeah one of those. The north east sucks right now.
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  8. HAHAHAHAHAHA “hair.” I worked in Houston last summer, and it was considered “a good day” when it was 90. I also biked to work every day because I didn’t have a car in Houston, and I would bike to work in a workout tank and athletic shorts and bring normal clothes with me because by the time I got to work I’d be absolutely drenched with sweat. I’m so glad this is only a passing thing in the Northeast, but I also know that when I go back to school I get to deal with the height of the Houston summer, which is still worse than this, so I’m kind of torn ๐Ÿ˜›
    Beth @ Mangoes and Miles recently posted…Thursday Thoughts: paceless running, stupid heat wave, YELLOWSTONEMy Profile

  9. Oh man, so true!!! GAH I’m so sick of the heat down here! I’ve never lived farther north than Nashville, TN. And that’s still considered SOUTH. So, point being, my body has no concept of real cold actually is. We do joke down here about how the whole town shuts down if they even predict snow, and if it actually snows, holy guacamole you’d think the apololypse hit! In high school we used to get for RAIN..that’s right, RAIN, because apparently in the south you can’t function in any type of weather!
    Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…A Sweat Pink Giveaway!My Profile

  10. This is great! Completely agree with this! The hair thing…yup. Up in a bun until mid-september most likely. I am SO ready for fall; it’s my fav. season! Currently my office is totally 32 degrees, maybe 27. I always have a sweater on my chair. The icebox feels good for 2-3 minutes. Then the sweater remains on until 5:35pm.
    Dana recently posted…A Short & Sweet SurveyMy Profile

    • yep same! although i usually lug by sweater to and from work because you never know whats going to totally clash with my outfit, or if ill need the particular sweater i happened to leave at work later that night. its so hard to plan these things :)

  11. I totally agree with #6! And I love Monica’s hair, lol! I’m usually pretty tolerant of the heat since I’m from Florida but now that I live in Northern California, I’m pretty spoiled. I get pissed if I have to turn on the AC. And that’s another reason why I gave up my gym membership, because 95% of the time, the weather is perfect here and I love being outside!
    Texas, however, was the worst! Don’t ever move to Texas!
    makingthymeforhealth recently posted…Radiance Boosting Coconut Kale Smoothie + A Giveaway!!My Profile

  12. Ah Midwesterners! How I love thee. This is my 2nd summer here since moving from the south and I must say…y’all are a bunch of complainers ๐Ÿ˜‰ If it rains to much, if the sun is out too much! This is perfect weather (especially for running a few miles around dusk!) Not saying I’m not sweating a little or wishing I was around a pool all day, but it is fine. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m the crazy one. Who knows! Love the post…it made my day as I sit in my below freezing temperature office feeling sorry for any human that has to be outside today!
    Liz recently posted…Sort of Fitness Related!My Profile

  13. LOL this is spot on!!!! I love that Alabama repped for the the South! YES it’s hot as hell down here, and steamy, and muggy, and humid. It’s every shitty rain forest condition imaginable down here. BUT, that makes for some challenging runs outside with the hopes that when the weather tames itself, my skills will be so much stronger. My body has acclimated to the heat so it doesn’t bother me as much, but I’m with you – no patio eating unless it’s truly nice outside. I don’t care if there’s a breeze either, AC all the way baby! Have a great day!!!
    Meghan @ fitnesscrEATures recently posted…Iโ€™ve Said it BeforeMy Profile

    • omg you guys especially – you’re always doing these amazing runs in your hot-lanta rain forest conditions- i’m always so impressed!! but thats a great attitude it does just make you stronger!!

  14. I would definitely choose these temperatures over snow, but I’m totally ready for fall! My favorite season, for sure. The worst thing is when you walk out to your mailbox and come in feeling like you just ran a marathon. Even my dog begs to go inside and usually he loves being outside. Something is wrong here. Lol He is laying on the AC vent right now, actually. I wish I could fit on one of those.

  15. Hahaha I’m definitely guilty of being one of those spoiled Southerners! I live in California and anything under 65 degrees is “cold” ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Christine@ Apple of My Eye recently posted…WIAW: Tangy Toasted Coconut Fruit Salad & Random BitesMy Profile

    • LOL yup! like when im reading gossip blogs in the winter and they have the celebs out in LA wearing like, fur coats and boots, and its in the 60s. in the 60s out here we’re in sleeveless and flip flops :)

  16. Haha this post made me laugh out loud! All of it is so true! When I go outside I think the sweat on my arms actually boils.
    Alyssa @ Road to RD recently posted…WIAW- Instagram styleMy Profile

  17. I am the only person in the entire city of Chicago who LOVES this hot, humid weather. I’ve been loving my 90 degree runs in the morning. I don’t know what to tell you – my hair and skin are better in this weather, I love being outside in it and I think a little sweat under my lawyer clothes reminds me that I’m still human, even in this corporate jungle. But, of course, I’m a S. Fla. girl so this is what feels natural to me :)
    Natalie@fit.fun.femme. recently posted…Allstate Atlanta Half Marathon Training PlanMy Profile

  18. nicole on July 18, 2013 at 11:17 am said:

    Hi Charlotte- I just linked over to your blog from Christine’s! You are hysterical…I totally agree with everything in this post. Off to read the rest of your blog!

  19. Haha! I am laughing so hard right now! You are hilarious but the above is so true!
    FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Old School Blogging: My List of Fives (aka My Hopes, Dreams and Favs!)My Profile

  20. haha, I LOVE all of this! :-) Me and heat / humidity are NOT friends.

    I can’t wait until the Fall!!!!
    Lisa recently posted…Ughhhh!!!My Profile

  21. The AC thing…seriously! I feel super dorky (and hot) carrying a sweater around with me when it’s pushing 100 degrees out, but as soon as I step inside a business/restaurant/whatever, it’s on. Is it that hard to have a comfortable temperature somewhere?!
    Cassie @ Rural Running Redhead recently posted…The Little ThingsMy Profile

  22. Woo yeah! Northeasterner’s unite! Your number 1 point is spot on! I can barely make it into my building each morning without sweating all of my make-up off, but once I’m inside within 15 minutes I’m freezing and have to take mini walks outside to warm back up. What. The. Hell.

    • OH! i didnt even mention that part- i can no longer do make up at home- (not that i do that much, just a little bronzer and what have you) but i have to do it at the office now because otherwise it runs down my face.

  23. Ah- I hear you on the how to dress for the office. It’s hot at noon and when you leave for the day (and you want to get some wear out of summer work clothes!) but inside it is freezing. I’ve had my desk heater pumping through these hot days!
    However, I am NOT ready for fall! Our falls are so short that it turns to winter before we know it!
    Change of Pace recently posted…Change the pace โ€“ exercising in hot, hot heatMy Profile

    • i know… wishing for fall seems wrong somehow. its winter way too quickly, which i do not care for. and yeah, i have a heater under my desk too that i run in the summer :)

  24. Exercising outside? God, I won’t even take the dog for a walk out in this…I like to say that I like hot weather, but this is definitely too much. Our temps are supposed to return to normal by tomorrow night, thank god.
    And the office-clothes thing = frustrating!! I wear sandals, and by the time I leave to go for lunch my toes are FREEZING. Then I go outside and burn to death. Can’t win!!
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Spicy Fajita Chicken Burgers.My Profile

    • oh i hate cold toes- i opt for ballet flats because i couldnt wear sandals inside without freezing. i cant wait for this heat to break, i think its supposed to break for us this weekend at some point

  25. I love, love, love it when it’s hot, hot, hot….Because when I get up early it’s warm as I jump on my bike to ride to the gym…..When I get home…. I run up stairs, put my bathing suit on, run down stairs, out my back door and leap up into the air as high as I possible can leap and land in my pool that I have heated to 90! Ahhhh I love the summer!
    carlotta recently posted…The Real Meaning of PeaceMy Profile

  26. Crying with laughter!! Oh my God, this is SO FUNNY!! As a native Texan, I grew up with seatbelts that could regularly give you 3rd degree burns, but now that I don’t live there anymore I complain endlessly when it gets above 90!!-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted…Six Important Words For Every Child To HearMy Profile

    • hahaha you texans have a heat tolerance like no other! im afraid i would melt into the concrete like the wicked witch of the west if i went down there.

  27. This is hysterical! Ohhh gosh…It’s funny because I guess I know both sides of the story. I grew up in New Jersey and I moved to southern California over 5 years ago. I must say I love the weather out here better. I totally died during summer in Jersey because it was just so darn humid outside! But now I get cold when it’s in the 50s in the winter here!
    Maggie @ Sunnyside Up Smile recently posted…Tropical Breeze Vegan Soft ServeMy Profile

  28. How annoying is it going from hot to cold hot to cold, it does the body no favours!

    Although when I first read this post I had to double take when you mentioned it being in the 90’s… then I remember you guys use farenheit!
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…The big man dines- Izakaya Jiro Grill and Sake barMy Profile

    • Hahaha yeah i should have specificed C or F! and i swear its why people get summer colds, i dont think its healthy to go from one extreme to the other so often!

  29. It may be the true North and free in me (Canadian) but I prefer the winter any day over the summer! Seriously.. I love the snow and the cold. The only thing I don’t like about the winter is that the days are shorter and it is dark out. This heat is killin’ me!
    Christine @ Gotta Eat Green recently posted…Nutty Puffed Quinoa Crispy Treats (vegan and GF)My Profile

    • oh thats so funny- i actually dont even mind the shorter days. i am an early to bed early to rise type of person, so when its still light when im trying to go to bed i get so frusterated! it IS nice to have those early mornings bright though!

  30. Omg, I totally lost my shit over the “swamp ass” thing! I have to say I actually haven’t noticed it being that hot out…yet. I’m waiting for the fiery pits of hell to envelop us come mid-August as usual. Yes, I’ve lived in the south all my life (and yes, I think 55 degrees warrants a winter coat) so I guess I’ve built up somewhat of an immunity…but the hair? Yeah, didn’t get the memo! All I can say is THANK GOD I can just throw some gel in my hair and pass off my mop as curly beachy hair! Lol

    I have to say, I agree with you 100% on the inside/outside thing! I work in a hospital…so yeah, I get funny looks when I stop by a store before my shift starts wearing long sleeves, scrubs, AND a jacket! My mom totally bought me one of those electric hand warmer thingies JUST to take with me during the winter months…you know when it’s more like -16 instead of just 32! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli recently posted…YoPLAIT Day!My Profile

    • Hahaha omg i would pass out from the heat if i was in anything heavier than a tank top, but yeah once i go inside its time to layer up! you southerners have the most amazing tolerance to heat. i swear if it goes above 90 i need to sit down and rest and i feel like cancelling all my activities for the day (ie work). and gah my hair is a mess, i just throw it into a bun straight from the shower and go. (although i do that year-round out of laziness, so i cant reallllly blame that one entirely on the heat :) )

  31. I have 4 words of advice for you.. NEVER COME TO KUWAIT! Think 130 degrees, sweat drippin down your face (and boobies). Sounds lovely, right? :(
    jessielovestorun recently posted…Are you craving sugar?My Profile

    • Gah! i dont know how you do it!!! i would be a puddle. and LOL- my boobs sweat so much, i was going to put that in the countdown but i didnt know if anyone else was going to relate :)

  32. hahaha Sharknado

    My office is also mega cold (plus the buses), so I’m constantly taking layers on and off.

    You know what the worst part about summer is? The people who somehow manage to look good. PISSES ME OFF. Fuck you and your matte skin and shiny hair and non-sweaty clothes!
    Alex @ Brain, Body, Because recently posted…Things Helping Me to Keep it TogetherMy Profile

    • Oh I am positive those people are aliens. the other day i was in like, rags, essentially trying to stay cool with my frizzy hair in a top knot and DRIPPING with sweat and this flawless girl with perfectly smooth hair- worn down- walks by in white jeans and a long sleeve button down- didnt even look like she realized she should be dying. im still positive she was an alien. ive tried to think of other explanations, and there just isnt one.

  33. I make it a point to not complain about the heat (since we only get barely 2 months of it)…UNLESS I am outside running…then it just downright sucks
    Michelle @ 3cheaprunners recently posted…Ainโ€™t Nothin Gonna Break My STRIDEMy Profile

  34. Rose on July 19, 2013 at 9:20 pm said:

    HA being North-Eastern Canadian and dealing with humidex in the mid 40s!!!! (er, I think like 115 Fahrenheit) no I’m not dealing well and I can’t wait for Fall!! I’m dreaming of wearing jeans and boots. My make up looks gnarly and melty all day every day and my car does not have A/C and it’s like commuting home in an oven… thank the lord its raining tonight and gonna cool down mildly.
    You’re right, we Northern-ers (Canadians mostly)are contradicting our smug winter survival skills.. Buuut let’s be real, as uncomfortable as this heat is, it’s nothing compared to digging a car out of 2 feet of snow, having your eyelids freeze shut when you blink it’s so cold, navigating over sheets of ice all the drive home.. they aint got nothin on us ๐Ÿ˜‰

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