ACT I:

Sunday morning. Charlotte is in the kitchen, about to make a piece of whole wheat toast. She turns the dial on the toaster to setting #1 and pushes start.

Moments later, the toast pops up.

toast 1st setting

Charlotte (aloud, to nobody in particular): “This… this is not toast, this is still technically bread… Okay well, I’ll just turn it up one more little notch to setting number 2. Easy-peasy”

A few rather long moments later, the toast pops up.

toast 2nd setting

Charlotte opens the refrigerator and reaches for a yogurt instead.

ACT II:

Sunday afternoon. Charlotte and Eric decide to go for a run. They set out on a 4-mile route and use RunKeeper to track their progress. Throughout the run, Runkeeper continually interrupts Charlotte’s music to tell her how far and how fast they are going. Right away, she realizes something is amiss.

Charlotte (through gasps of breath): “I think something might be wrong with RunKeeper”.

Eric (panting): “What? I can’t hear you.”

Charlotte (wheezing): “I’ll tell you after”

Upon arriving home, Charlotte and Eric take a look at their RunKeeper mapped route and stats.

runkeeper screenshot

Charlotte: “Umm…”

Eric: “Hmm…”

They both collapse on the couch vowing silently to download a new app later, once they’re no longer so hungry.

ACT III:

Sunday evening. Charlotte and Eric decide to end the day by watching a movie on Apple TV.

Buffering-Issues

AAAND SCENE.

How was your weekend?

What modern conveniences aren’t all that convenient in your life?

 

66 Thoughts on “These Modern Conveniences Are Rather Inconvenient: A Play in 3 Acts

  1. Lol, our toasters must be related- mines goes up to a ‘6’ but put it on a ‘2’ and my toast nutellas itself without the actual nutella.

    After going to Japan and having the fridge in the hotel actually tell me to close it (im not kidding, I accidentally left it open, and it said in some sing song voice ‘close me please’- some little toy device attached to it), now when I accidentally leave my fridge or freezer open, and come back to a trail of water, I realise just how much I have been let down…and how I can’t have steak for dinner tonight.
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…International Blogger Spotlight- Christine from Apple of my EyeMy Profile

  2. Hahahaha…sounds like you had quite a weekend! I hate, hate, hate when my toast burns! I think the toaster oven has a mind of its own! Sometimes it burns and sometimes it doesn’t even though it’s on the same setting. What’s up with that!?! Maybe it’s time for a new one…
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…MIMM #5 – The Color RunMy Profile

    • mine does the same thing! and mine is relatively new, im not entirely sure why one day “2” will be 30 seconds and the next day it will be 3 minutes…

  3. Sounds like you had a rough go! Great work on the run, even if it was tracked super wonky!
    The modern convenience that’s not that convenient lately? My heart rate monitor. For some reason it has decided to cut me, so I have two nice scabs in the centre of my chest. It’s difficult to wear a bra without discomfort and the second I sweat it burns!
    Abby @ Change of Pace recently posted…Unplanned unplug and training updateMy Profile

  4. Ha. Oh dear – silly technology. My weekend was good because it was a weekend (those are never bad), but it certainly wasn’t the best. I have a feeling this upcoming one will be better.
    Tiff recently posted…Being the Hostess with the MostessMy Profile

  5. Oh my goodness the Runkeeper thing made me laugh SO hard. That’s exactly why I just sucked it up and bought a Garmin–my app worked well for like, a week, and then got progressively more wonky every time I went out to run, and I just got so frustrated that I dropped some hard-earned money. :) That said, sometimes it’s not so convenient…today it took 10 minutes to find satellites. Usually it takes, like, 30 seconds. Except this morning, when I really wanted to go out early and get back early…sigh.
    Beth @ Mangoes and Miles recently posted…A New DirectionMy Profile

  6. Bahaha oh man. LIFE IS TOUGH!!!! :) I know the feeling, sometimes I crack up at the things I complain about..when really…people in third world countries would kill to have. It’s kind of like complaining about a text message taking too long to send…I mean really…it’s AMAZING that it’s even possible to send words through space!
    Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…Breaking Bad & Bob BarkerMy Profile

  7. You seriously come up with the most random, yet AWESOME posts! When I was running, I’d say my Garmin sometimes. It would become a little b**ch when I needed it to find service.. grr!
    jessielovestorun recently posted…I’m speechless…My Profile

  8. 😆 And -that- is exactly why I gave up on toasters and bought a toaster oven instead. Same job without the burnage factor. I still watch it like a hawk though, because as much as I love crispy toast, I’m not a fan of having to scrape off the black bits. I’m not a big fan of technology not working, either… I swear I don’t know what to do with myself if my computer dies or my phone loses it’s connection. I was at a foodie festival in a city park the other day and my main thought was “I’m in the middle of the city with no Internet connection?! How am I going to share this on IG/Twitter/etc?!” Sad, sad…
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. how i start my [early] day .My Profile

    • Hahaha i freak out if i dont have connection on my phone. like i start looking around like i just dropped into the twilight zone, asking everyone around me if they have service- its ridiculous. and ahh a toaster oven… very brilliant.

  9. I’m so picky about my toast – I cannot eat burnt or crunchy toast, which means I stand at the toaster oven and stare at the bread as I’m “heating” it. Crazy. That issue with runkeeper used to happen to me all the time! It still happens when I wear my garmin and they are buildings around. It’s so frustrating! Good job with the 4 miles though!
    Natalie@fit.fun.femme. recently posted…Target PracticeMy Profile

    • what i didnt mention in the post is that there was quite a bit of walking on that route :) ohhh well. as kramer said in the episode of seinfeld about swimming in the hudson river when jerry asked if the other people he came across were actually dead bodies: “well, they werent moving much, but they were out there.” we were out there:)

  10. My RunKeeper app fails me every time. I seriously need a new one. My GPS fails me. I travel a lot for work and I’ve become that person that blindly follows the directions, even if it leads to a cliff in the woods (that’s actually happened, BTW).
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs for Food recently posted…Rainy TuesdayMy Profile

  11. Haha. This is the story of my life! Except it usually has to do with my internet or phone not working at all. Ugh. I hate how much I depend upon these things!
    FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…To Cleanse or Not To Cleanse That is the QuestionMy Profile

  12. This is exactly why I don’t use a running app on my runs, although that graphic is hilarious. And burnt toast & bagels are a major bummer. You’d think someone would have invented an effective toaster by now!

    I use a VOIP (voice over internet protocol) phone for work, and it is HORRIBLE! Half of my calls sound like the person on the other end is underwater and the other half drop unexpectedly. Awesome!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…4 Things That Are Adorable on a Child But Not an AdultMy Profile

    • oh one of my friends who i would always talk to on my way to work while she was driving to her job using the hands free car speaker and it always sounded like she was underwater. i got very good at understanding it. it was almost strange when she would switch to her cell phone and come in clearly.

  13. Um WiFi is basically the bane of my existence. I think I have a WiFi black thumb. Whatever I touch loses Internet connection immediately. It’s basically an early Christmas miracle that I’m even commenting on your blog right now.
    Carly @ Snack Therapy recently posted…All Professional and StuffMy Profile

  14. LOL…It keeps us humble!
    carlotta recently posted…Tuesday’s Choices!My Profile

  15. These damn 1st world problems. You watch out next the cable on-demand will stop working. It is all a conspiracy! They just want us to buy new stuff.
    Tom T. recently posted…Monday Motivation – August 5, 2013My Profile

  16. The toaster issue happened to me yesterday! GAH. I was so freaking mad! Nothing like a burnt English muffin! And I hate when something takes forever to load when I just want to watch a show, I feel like I’m sitting through commercials! Coffee pots are NOT my friends. I have tried so many different water/coffee amounts which make my coffee taste like dirt. Thank God for gas stations and Keurigs!

  17. Ha! Thanks for the laugh! I’ve spent countless frustrated hours watching Netflix rebuffer and/or freeze up so I can totally relate. As for toasters, I think the settings from level 1 to 2 vary from “lightly scorched by a fading match” to “submerged in the fires of hell for five minutes.”

  18. ugh, the buffering thing = bane of my existence. We don’t have cable so we need to find other means to get TV shows and movies, so when we can’t get it to work and I’m in the mood for a particular movie…unacceptable. And dropped WiFI, that one’s up there too.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Wonderful Weekend Wedding.My Profile

    • yup- and i’d rather have it buffer for a while and then have the movie play through in its entirety, rather than a whole bunch of stopping and starting- that practically gives me motion sickness.

  19. Haha, it’s amazing how much I rely on technology these days. It’s almost as if I don’t know what to do with myself if my phone dies, my internet doesn’t work or if the power goes out! Gosh forbid that happens.
    And I totally hate when my toast does that, which is probably why I just got rid of my toaster;)
    Lisa recently posted…Start Your Day Off RightMy Profile

    • yeah, getting rid of the conventional toaster seems to be a popular thing! i might jump on board soon :) and gah if i suddenly find myself disconnected, i become a very anxious camper.

  20. Hahah I love this post! I’ve had the same problem with run keeper doing its own thang! Sometimes I like to tell myself that it lies about my time when I’m running 😉
    Christine@ Apple of My Eye recently posted…Practicing My Photography & Getting Accepted!My Profile

  21. I have a mostly love and sometimes hate relationship with my smartphone. For the most part it is great and keeps me up to date on emails and social media, but the moment it starts acting up my world is blown apart. How dare iPhone stutter and occasionally freeze!
    Her Happy Balance recently posted…New things – A Website Find and a Cooking FirstMy Profile

  22. Such a funny post, sorry to laugh. I had a problem with my garmin watch like that last week so annoying. I also run into little problems here and there with my Mac when I’m editing blog post even more annoying!!!
    Reba – Not So Perfect Life recently posted…Vanilla Bean Scones- Gluten Free and VeganMy Profile

    • oh when something goes wrong while im writing a blog post my heart skips a beat that it simultaneously got deleted and prematurely published at the same time :)

  23. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO FREAKING CREATIVE! AH! OMG!
    Ok, one, the toaster situation – I like my toast like that second pictures so sorry to you for not feeling it! I would have been your dog and eaten that stuff straight off the floor after you disposed of it (I’ll do anything for carbs).
    I love your run, super all over the place, huh? Not so much.
    I’d recommend the Nike app – but more importantly, kudos on your 4 miler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cuteness that you two did it together!
    :) :)
    Meghan @ fitnesscrEATures recently posted…Playing Catch UpMy Profile

    • hahaha ah if you’re ever in boston lets absolutely do brunch- there’s a place i adore but they can’t do toast- its either undercooked or burnt to a crisp- you can have my burnt toast, i can have your undercooked toast, everybody will be happy!! ok i’ll try the nike app. aaaaand to be honest, we walked quite a bit on that route, buuuut thats ok :)

  24. Bahahaha! Love this post!
    I have yet to meet a toaster that actually works. Just like yours, every toaster I’ve ever tried either a) does nothing or b) BURNS! You would think it wouldn’t be that difficult to make a toaster that actually lives up to its name, but seen as there seems to be none in existence…
    And my running app has done that before too. SO frustrating! It said I ran a 4 minute mile which I sure wish I had done, but when I looked at the route, it showed a sharp detour that I definitely don’t remember doing (perhaps I didn’t so fast that I didn’t even know I did it – I can dream, can’t I? 😉 ).
    Alex@Veggin’ Out recently posted…Random RamblingsMy Profile

  25. lol, so funny. Enjoyed your post. I hate when my running program Endamondo interrupts..so annoying. How can I not mention Siri, never ever recognizes my voice, really, how can you recognize my husband’s and not mine..:)

  26. The toast thing cracks me up because I do that all the time!!!
    And, Apple TV – my husband wanted one for all of the TVs because he thought it was going to be so great – I think it has worked exactly 2x and even then he had to reset everything first!!!
    Kim recently posted…What Does a Runner Look Like?My Profile

    • hahha i know- its so sleek and so promising with that little box. honestly its worked really well since we set it up, its just occasionally that it does this. usually when its already late and super inconvenient :)

  27. Best post – possibly EVER!
    Christine recently posted…Watermelon SpritzerMy Profile

  28. You are hilarious!!!!! Would have eaten the burnt toast btw…I’m THAT lazy 😉
    Davida @The Healthy Maven recently posted…Throw the Rules Out the WindowMy Profile

  29. Sounds like a great weekend to me :)! Nothing irks me more than burned toast- ick! I am ashamed to admit that while making lunch yesterday, one of my toasts ended up getting burned….and I may or may not have chucked it in the bin and toasted up a new one! If you’re looking for a new running app to download, I highly recommend Map My Run :)!
    Khushboo recently posted…Healthy fast foodMy Profile

  30. Crazy RunKeeper map! My Garmin recently told me I’d run to Russia! In under an hour!
    Mary recently posted…Runner’s fateMy Profile

  31. Ahhhh! I’m without my Garmin since it was broken in the move and have been using Run Keeper. Now I’m all worried it’s wrong, although none of my runs have looked like yours on the map. Buffering…the worst thing ever!

  32. I almost choked at that last one. SO FUNNY!! Bwahahahahha.
    You have totally summed up my relationship with technology.
    The Dose of Reality recently posted…Racism For Ratings: Big Brother 15My Profile

  33. LOL. damn technology. and for the record I’m no good at toasters, I think good toasting is a talent!!
    I’ve been having a hard time with my garmin this past week. Got halfway through my run and it said I was running 4 minute miles. UM NEGATIVE. It seemed to be okay on the next one, but now I don’t know if I trust it!
    Meredith recently posted…No-Bake Pretzel & Peanut butter fudge bars…OMGMy Profile

  34. Hahaha, this had me laughing so much!

    Runkeeper does that same thing to me sometimes, it makes my running route look like I’m the energizer bunny hah :)
    Mitchell recently posted…A Time Honoured Tradition: What I Ate WednesdayMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Post Navigation