Welcome friends and nature lovers to Nature Talk, where we talk nature, to nature. Just because you live in a city, there’s no excuse not to enjoy all the natural wonder around you. On today’s edition, we’re going to talk to a pigeon and a squirrel.

Thank you for joining me. I’m your host, Charlotte G, and I’m currently walking to the gym. It seems that we have come upon a whole flock of pigeons gathered around a statue eating stuff off the ground. It is our lucky day!

Me: Oh hello pigeon! Looks like you are eating bread crumbs! How are those bread crumbs?

(Kid at the other end comes running up behind the pack causing dozens of frightened pigeons to fly away)

Me: (ducking for cover)

Pigeon: (poops on the back of my head)

please-stand-by

Welcome back friends. I cleaned the pigeon poop out of my hair at the gym, had a mighty fine workout, and now I’m walking home via the park. I think I’ll stop by this park bench to stretch my hamstrings a bit more… Is that a rustling I hear behind me?

(More rustling in the bushes)

Me: Oh hello squirrel! Are you gathering nuts for the winter?

(While still stretching, I look through my legs upside down at the small rodent emerging from the brush)

Squirrel: (Turns out to be a rat)

Me: (Screaming like a banshee)

DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT:

rat

(I run away in the manner everyone does when trying to get away from a rat- quickly, with knees high, and arms flailing)

This has been Nature Talk with Charlotte G. Join us next time when we talk to a cockroach we find in the laundry room.

 

Do you live in the city, suburbs or country?

Are you an animal person?

Are you afraid of rodents?

Whats your biggest phobia?

47 Thoughts on “Nature Talk with Charlotte G

  1. Funny!
    “Knees high arms flailing”…2 workouts in one day – back to back! Impressive Ms. Charlotte G.!
    I live in the suburbs and, yup, I am an animal person and while most pests dont bug me – rats and snakes do! But, they dont bug me as much as driving in someone’s blind spot – yup, that would be my phobia!
    Cannot wait to read about your talk with the Roach in the laundry room. If you needed a more accessible roach though, the ones at my work greet you at the security desk, and ride with you in the elevator; if you happen to have PB & Chocolate on you in some form, they might stop by your desk to say hi! :)
    Shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com recently posted…3 Layer (peanut butter, oatmeal, chocolate) Bars!My Profile

  2. Pigeon poop & a rat freak out? Definitely a city girl version of nature talk! Yikes! I would have high-kneed it outta there too!
    Nicole @ Work in Sweats Mama recently posted…Marathon MathMy Profile

  3. Bawhahahaha!!! OMG I’m laughing. That is freakin disgusting and horrifying. I remember city life when there really are rats running around. Ewwwww!!! Now I only find dead mice in our back yard. We put poison in our basement and when they eat it they try to find water, fast. They usually make it to the edge of the woods. It’s pretty gross.
    Thanks for sharing!!
    Allie recently posted…F*ck You Cancer, You Killed My MotherMy Profile

  4. I live in the suburbs. I love DOMESTICATED animals like cats and dogs. I do not tolerate rodents in any of their forms—including in cages in people’s homes. I chalk it up to my brother’s evil guinea pig from my childhood that would bite me if I came within striking distance to it. One of the loudest screams I ever let out was when I saw a field mouse in my kitchen about 15 years ago. My husband thought I was being murdered. (and I did almost die because…MOUSE IN MY KITCHEN).

    A random rat…out in the wild…*shiver*. I was not cut out for a nature encounter like that.

    When I was at the zoo with my family when I was about 12, a bird (that must have had digestive problems like Giardia or Cholera) pooped on my dad’s head. It even got on the INSIDE of his sunglasses—like between his glasses and face. OMG, we laughed and laughed. My dad didn’t quite see the humor in it that the rest of us did. I guess there is one person in each family that doesn’t have a very developed sense of humor. 😀 –Lisa

  5. hahaha…OMG…love it! And this is why I’m so glad you’re back Charlotte! :-) I live in the suburbs. I hate rodents. They totally freak me out and I’d be screaming if I saw one too!
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…How to Make Fresh Pumpkin PureeMy Profile

  6. hahahhaha! then don’t come to my house because there’s a mouse living just outside my house under the stairs. i grilled my hubs if there’s any way it can get inside the house and he said “unless you leave the door open, no it can’t” so every day i basically rush into the house and slam the door so that the door is open for a little time as possible.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda
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  7. Haha! Ahhhh I am soooo afraid of rodents. They seriously make me squirm (I’m a baby). I live in the city and surprisingly don’t see many rodents, but I do miss nature sometimes, though there is a park nearby so sometimes I go and pretend I don’t live in a city for a few minutes. Then I miss the city. Hahah ah well.
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  8. Snakes, I hate snakes. I run from even the smallest most non-dangerous snakes. They freak me out.
    Tom T. recently posted…Why do I Play Hockey?My Profile

  9. I would most definitely high knee, arm flail my way outta there too if I saw a rat!
    I live in a city but I’ve never seen a roach or rat here! My pup did catch a mouse in my yard last summer though; it scared the pants off me and then I just felt bad for the little thing.
    Abby @ Change of Pace recently posted…Change the pace – the magic of the runchMy Profile

  10. Haha so funny. I’m a suburbs girl myself, so I’m usually dodging deer that leap out of the woods at my car (it’s like they aim for me!). I’m definitely a lover of almost all animals except for snakes. They freak me out so much!
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs for Food recently posted…Eating ALL the food: how to get back on track afterwardsMy Profile

  11. When they give you a show on Discovery Channel, can I be your nature assistant?

    Although, I might suck at it because I am NOT an animal person, and animals kind of hate me.
    Carly @ Snack Therapy recently posted…The Real WorldMy Profile

  12. Oh. Em. To. The. Gee.
    HAHAHAHA!!!! I can only assume that this is your real life, in which case, you need a serious vacation next year. :) :)
    I cannot imagine a pigeon taking a shit on me! I’d lose my shit at the birds and at that obnoxious child who deemed it necessary to scare an innocent flock of nasty birds. Pigeons are flying rats, so technically, you saw two rats on your trip to the gym.

    Add to your cockroach conversation – what to do when one falls on you whilst in you’re sleeping in your own bed and wakes you up and almost makes you pee your pants in fear and disgust.

    And following that traumatic situation, how to properly sleep on your couch in your living room.
    <3<3 have a wonderful nature filled day in the big city! :)
    Meghan @ fitnesscrEATures recently posted…Things I Could Have Done…My Profile

    • ahhh omg if one fell on me in my bed i would have done the exact. same. thing. i once THOUGHT there was some sort of rodent or roach or ghost in my room and i slept on the couch for like 3 nights.

  13. I think you encountered 2 of the nastiest creatures ever. For some reason – probably all the poop – pigeons totally gross me out. And, mice are fine but….rats are evil!!! You can see it in their beady eyes!! You might need a new path for your walk to the gym!
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  14. I would have lost it entirely over the rat. One thing I definitely don’t miss about NYC. Or the cockroaches. Those things are nastyyyy!
    Davida @ The Healthy Maven recently posted…Cooking with RosaMy Profile

  15. OMG. The pigeon poop and the rat in the same day?! That’s insane! I don’t know what’s worse: the pigeon or the rat. The pigeon is gross, and the rat is scary as hell. I hope you had a glass of vino after this trauma!

    If it makes you feel any better, on two separate occasions, I’ve had birds crap in my hair when I’m halfway through a long run. I actually had to miss a class in undergrad because of it. Imagine writing to a professor and saying “I had to miss class because a pigeon pooped in my hair while I was running, and there was no way I was coming to class with poop on my head.” Yeah. Fun.
    Lillian @ Seize the Latte recently posted…A Day Redeemed + Coffee ConflictsMy Profile

  16. I live in the city. I am not an animal fan, although I don’t mind them if they are calm, cute and don’t lick me. I am petrified of spiders!!! Hate Hate!

  17. 😆 Note to self: do NOT drink any form of liquid while reading one of Charlotte’s post — high danger of choking and/or spitting aforementioned liquid all over computer screen.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. [healthier] chocolate glazed donuts .My Profile

  18. This is hilarious! I am a HUGE animal person (I gave up meat for that reason), but still freak out over things like rodents. I would never hurt them, but I don’t want them near me particularly. We have a lot of city animals in Chicago, but especially Geese (maybe not now that it’s getting frigid). My dog loves to chase them all! So glad you are back in my day-to-day life :)
    natalie @ fit.fun.femme recently posted…Target Practice + Crawling Back on the WagonMy Profile

    • ohh geese- we dont have many here, except actually the past week they’ve been hanging out in the boston public garden. perhaps they stop over while they’re flying south? (i obviously need to learn more about nature)

  19. I’ve had a seagull poop on my before at the beach. Yeah, I was THAT girl. Thankfully, the ocean is one big shower. I’m not afraid of rodents, but spiders… Spiders are a NO GO. I will cry, scream, and cringe. UCK.
    Lauren recently posted…boo! said the ghostMy Profile

  20. Hahaha! Oh I feel your pain. The rats crawling all over the subway rails are so gross! I actually saw one dart from behind a dumpster when I was walking home once. Ewwww!
    FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Thankful NovemberMy Profile

  21. Charlotte, you kill me a little 😉 I’m not particularly afraid of rats or pigeons, but finding myself in either of those situations wouldn’t be a good time. My brother and I actually grew up with pet rats, mice, hamsters and gerbils, so rodents don’t really bother me. Although spiders….cannot handle the spiders.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Why I Hate Being Told to Shop For My Body Type.My Profile

  22. Hahahaha…Live in Suburban land, with suburban two legged rats! I too run from them…Tee hee hee!
    carlotta recently posted…The Good Old Days!My Profile

  23. Having a rough day and the perfect remedy to that is coming on here- Thanks Char!

    Cannot wait for the next instalment of nature talk ha! Embarrassed to admit this, but I’m freaked out by pigeons ever since I was 6 years old and I got chased my two at the park! Not the biggest animal person but I would love a puppy or kitten…that comes pre trained, cleans itself up and dances on command.
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  24. Bahaha. I loved this, particularly the dramatic reenactment. I cannot handle rodents, so I would have been right there with you.
    Cassie @ Rural Running Redhead recently posted…A Few of My Favorite Things: Treadmill Workouts EditionMy Profile

  25. Charlotte,
    Tara C reporting in. We are here to show that the city pigeons are scary and in fact aggressive. Yesterday, a mom called in to mention that her son had food stolen from his tiny hands from these prehistoric descendants.

    PS: True story. Seen it with my own eyes. Prepare for a calm before the storm.
    Tara recently posted…Real Food Real TalkMy Profile

  26. So glad you’re back because I missed these amazing posts.
    I’m freaked out with basically any animal/bug, actually it’s just anything that has a face but can’t communicate with me in some way.

  27. hahaha, oh how I’ve missed you. How’s that new gig going btw??
    Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…Marathon Training – 14 MilesMy Profile

  28. Hahahaha! Jesus, hilarious. Can this be a legit segment of your blog?? I would love that. Like Mr. Rogers meets rodent control meets a seizure. What a dumb kid. When all else fails, blame it on a kid. Right? I had rats in one of my apts years ago. That shit sucked. One got in my kitchen once and its tail was about this ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————– long. Fu-uu-uuck that. #BBM2014 4 lyfe.
    Rebekah @ fitnesscreatures recently posted…The Wind Under My FeetMy Profile

  29. Please tell me this story was made up? If not, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you have some horrible f**king luck my dear Charlotte!

    I’m actually terrified of squirrels. There’s something so evil about them.
    Jessie recently posted…Prayers & Savory Scramble w/ Basmati RiceMy Profile

  30. Can you do a post on punny blog names?

    I love Sarah’s blog name “Making Thyme For Health”.

    My version would be “Cumin To My Kitchen”!
    Tara recently posted…Otra VezMy Profile

  31. Haha! Sounds to me like you stumbled over a new species of animals and possibly the latest breakthrough in exercise motivation…the once elusive “squat” helps motivate gym-goers by adding HIIT training to their regular routine. While not yet approved by the Regulatory Rodents for Weight Loss Commission, it is quickly becoming all the rage among city-dwellers. Disclaimer: Not intended for use in the 50+ age populous or for individuals with a strong family history of heart disease! 😉
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  33. What a day, Charlotte! Loved the description and I would have ran just like that had I seen a rat too! I live in the country but some wildlife you never grow accustomed to encountering! I had a recent incident with a black snack on my back porch. I don’t mind them but when they are close enough you could almost step on them, it really freaks me out! RUN!!! :)
    Lauren @ Rustic Honey recently posted…Simple Homemade Kettle CornMy Profile

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