A while back, I did a post on beauty and body image throughout the years. I’m doing something similar today, this time with an Emmys twist. What constitutes healthy body image and style for women (and men!) has changed some in the last 60 years.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

Let’s take a look at 6 decades of power couples at the Emmys and think out loud together!

Note: the photos are real, the captions are completely made up.

1950s:

Little did the public know, I Love Lucy was only filmed in black & white for one season-- Lucy and Desi simply enjoyed dressing in greyscale

Unbeknownst to the public, I Love Lucy was actually filmed in color. Desi and Lucy simply enjoyed dressing in greyscale.

1960s:

Loretta Young: "Can you believe it Danny, we won!" Danny Thomas: "Even more impressive Loretta, is that my life long wish for X-ray vision just kicked in"

Loretta Young: “Can you believe it Danny, we won!”
Danny Thomas: “Even more impressive Loretta, is that my life-long wish for X-ray vision just kicked in.”

1970s:

As Gregg Allman wondered what he did with his lighter, everyone else wondered if Cher's face could get any lighter.

As Gregg Allman wondered what he did with his lighter, everyone else wondered if Cher’s face could get any lighter.

1980s:

The only thing more magnificently voluminous than Connie Sellecca's hair that night, was James Brolin's.

The only thing more magnificently voluminous than Connie Sellecca’s hair that night, was James Brolin’s.

1990s:

David Duchovny felt slightly uncomfortable when he realized his publicist told him to get dressed for "his debut as Sci-Fi's golden boy at the Emmy's," and not, as he thought she said, "a daring Siegfried and Roy theme party at Steve Buscemi's."

David Duchovny vowed to never again play the old game, Telephone, after the original message to “dress for your debut as Sci-Fi’s golden boy at the Emmy’s” was delivered as “dress for a bbq like Siegfried and Roy at Steve Buscemi’s.”

2000s:

Jennifer Aniston: "Knock knock" Brad Pitt: "Who's there?" Jennifer Aniston: "That photographer" Girl on the far right: "Hahahahaha"

Jennifer Aniston: “Knock knock”
Brad Pitt: “Who’s there?”
Jennifer Aniston: “That photographer”
Girl on the far right: “Hahahaha”

2014:

The only thing more reflective than Matthew McConaughey's shoes, was the look on Camila's face when she realized illusion netting was not just the material of her gown but also a metaphor for job stability in showbiz

The only thing more reflective than Matthew McConaughey’s shiny shoes, was the look on Camila’s face when she realized illusion netting was not just the material of her gown but also a metaphor for job stability in showbiz

Thanks for hosting, Amanda! (I’d also like to highlight her post from yesterday which is the best thing I’ve read on blogging in a while.)

And if you want to see an even cooler montage that actually moves, go here.

Questions:

So, if you could go back in time and visit any era, which would it be?

Which decade’s style to you like the best?

Do you watch awards shows? (Did you watch the Emmys on Monday?)

Did you ever play the game Telephone?

(Alternate title: Tips for Bodybuilders)

So, Eric and I recently watched a documentary on bodybuilding. I fell asleep. It was interesting. This was actually not the first documentary on bodybuilding I’ve watched and –spoiler alert– I can attest the plot is the same every time: Get big, get bigger, (insert mandatory Arnold Schwarzenegger cameo here), more bigness, then everyone slathers up in oil, the end.

Now, before you think I’m uninterested in the sport as a whole, let me clarify:

I’m all about watching  and learning about the dreams, struggles and Herculean training of the professional bodybuilder…

good stuff sir

…until they get to the part about how it’s such a struggle to gain weight.

Cumberbatch

That’s where they lose me.

Gaining weight is not hard. Not to brag, but I’m really good at it. Like, really good at it. I can do it without trying. I can even do it while trying to lose weight. (Yeah, I’m that good.) It’s like complaining you only have one iPhone charger to a kid in the third world with no shoes.

However, to prove I’m not completely unempathetic to the plight of the bodybuilder, I will share my secrets to gaining weight for all those who are not so unfortunate for it to come so naturally.

Note: Do not attempt these tactics unless you are absolutely positive you want to gain weight. This regime works exactly 100% of the time.

Lesson 1: Hunger shmunger. If you’re thirsty, bored, sleepy, anxious, cranky, crampy, happy, nervous, procrastinating, celebrating, depressed, feeling hungry, full or just sort of blah– eat some food.

Lesson 2: Sugar is your friend. As are fritters.

Lesson 3: Artificial is beneficial. Your new motto is: “It’s only food if it comes from a tube.”

Lesson 4: Multitask. Eat while you do other things like work or watch TV so you have virtually no memory of the food you just consumed, or the quantities you consumed it in. Then go get another snack.

Lesson 5: Bowls are for football. Eat your ice cream directly out of the container to eliminate all notions of portion control.

michelle tanner ice cream

Follow these 5 simple lessons and you too will be gaining weight with ease and gusto before you know it. Slather up with confidence, my huge, oily friends.

(Completely unrelated note on my Primal challenge: Going better than expected! I’ll do an update next week.)

So, help me help the bodybuilders: What’s your secret to guaranteed weight gain?

 

As a city dweller for the past 10 years, it’s become quite obvious to me that many people do not know how to pick the right pet for their lifestyle. All the evidence I have collected over the last decade has led me to the conclusion that our current system of humans-picking-the-pets doesn’t work.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

So for Thinking Out Loud, I’ve drafted up the Pet’s Guide to Choosing the Right Owner. If you are a pet, it would be wise to figure out just what kind of pet you are (or strive to be), and then choose your owner from there.

eloise and pug

The following quiz should prove useful.

8. To determine whether you’re a city, suburb or country pet, ask yourself whether you prefer walking on:

A. Fields
B. Pavement
C. Carpet
D. Subway platforms

7. Next, ask yourself where you most enjoy doing your business:

A. On trees
B. On picket fences
C. In privacy
D. On people waiting at crosswalks

6. To determine whether you’re of the high or low energy persuasion, ask yourself if you prefer:

A. Running with the wind in your face
B. Walking with a slight breeze in your fur
C. Sitting, potentially with a fan on nearby for temperature control
D. Strutting around for a bit, getting winded and insisting on being carried home.

5. Additionally, ask yourself when you most enjoy exerting this energy:

A. All day long
B. Once a day- not picky what time.
C. In the middle of the night, and if everybody in the house wakes up in a panic as you run from room to room, all the better.
D. Seasonally- often in warm seasons, almost never in cold ones.

4. In the event you espy a squirrel, do you:

A. Chase it as fast as you can
B. Kinda make an effort but tucker out quickly. Maybe bark for good measure.
C. Ignore it entirely
D. Not mess with it since it’s about the same size as you, and you know your limits

3. When it comes to dining do you prefer your food:

A. On the floor, ground, bowl, off the dinner plates of babes, wherever.
B. In a bowl
C. In a ramekin
D. In treat form

2. It is also of utmost importance to determine whether you like children. Do you prefer the company of:

A. Short people who drool
B. Medium people who use slang words like “hashtag” and “homework” and roll their eyes at grown up people
C. Grown up people who use grown up words like “business meeting” and “politics” and roll their eyes at young people
D. Grown up people who use important words like “blogging” and “happy hour” and roll their eyes at everything

1. And finally, do you feel most productive after:

A. Running long distances with your owner
B. Running around with other dogs
C. Running away from other living things
D. Running errands in your owner’s purse

 

Results:

If you answered mostly As: you are obviously a very athletic, high energy dog. Choose an athletic, high energy family.

funny-dog-with-lots-of-sticks-in-mouth

If you answered mostly Bs: You may not be as athletic nor high energy as you think. Choose a family that respects your down time.

tired basset hound

If you answered mostly Cs: You are most definitely a cat. You may ignore all these tips because you will think your owner a crazy fool regardless.

annoyed cat lip curl

If you answered mostly Ds: You are either a quirky dog or a miniature pig, and may come live with me.

pug-unicorn-gif

Questions for the humans:

Are you an animal person?

Do you have a pet? What kind? What’s his/her name?

Does your pet’s energy level fit that of your family?

 

So, not that I think my primal challenge is comparable in any way to being pregnant, but I’m about to compare it to being pregnant.

doesnt_make_any_sense_anchorman

Follow me here.

My moods are crazy, the cravings are ravenous and there are some changes that I feel I should be tracking.

Therefore I’m taking the Weekly Blogger Pregnancy Update Form from Holly’s blog and answering all the same questions for my Primal Update.

This is Charlotte’s Primalcy Update, week 1:

Baby’s size?  6’4. We’ve learned that Eric gets cranky when he goes this long without a burrito.

Stretch marks? No, but there are claw marks on my cupboard out of frustration there were no treats inside.

Sleep? Yes, but crazy vivid dreams of me frolicking in a field with a giant sour patch kid.

Best moment this week? Realizing we had just made it one full week!

Miss Anything? That’s Miss Charlotte to you.

Movement? I prefer to keep information regarding my bowels off the internet, please and thank you.

Food Cravings? Sour Patch Kids, cold noodles, rice around my sushi, frozen yogurt etc. (Eric is craving burritos.)

Anything making you queasy or sick? I tried this really gross all natural grass fed beef jerky thing. I wanted to vom.

Gender? Equality.

Labor Signs?

road signs

They’re doing construction work en route to the healthy grocery store.

Symptoms? Crankiness, cold sweats, lower wine tolerance

Belly Button – in or out? Inny.

Wedding Rings – on or off? Currently living in sin.

Happy or Moody?

both

Looking Forward To? Day 30

 

When was your last personal challenge? Was it athletic? nutritious? academic? other?

Do you get weird dreams when you change your diet?

What was your best moment of last week?