As a city dweller for the past 10 years, it’s become quite obvious to me that many people do not know how to pick the right pet for their lifestyle. All the evidence I have collected over the last decade has led me to the conclusion that our current system of humans-picking-the-pets doesn’t work.


So for Thinking Out Loud, I’ve drafted up the Pet’s Guide to Choosing the Right Owner. If you are a pet, it would be wise to figure out just what kind of pet you are (or strive to be), and then choose your owner from there.

eloise and pug

The following quiz should prove useful.

8. To determine whether you’re a city, suburb or country pet, ask yourself whether you prefer walking on:

A. Fields
B. Pavement
C. Carpet
D. Subway platforms

7. Next, ask yourself where you most enjoy doing your business:

A. On trees
B. On picket fences
C. In privacy
D. On people waiting at crosswalks

6. To determine whether you’re of the high or low energy persuasion, ask yourself if you prefer:

A. Running with the wind in your face
B. Walking with a slight breeze in your fur
C. Sitting, potentially with a fan on nearby for temperature control
D. Strutting around for a bit, getting winded and insisting on being carried home.

5. Additionally, ask yourself when you most enjoy exerting this energy:

A. All day long
B. Once a day- not picky what time.
C. In the middle of the night, and if everybody in the house wakes up in a panic as you run from room to room, all the better.
D. Seasonally- often in warm seasons, almost never in cold ones.

4. In the event you espy a squirrel, do you:

A. Chase it as fast as you can
B. Kinda make an effort but tucker out quickly. Maybe bark for good measure.
C. Ignore it entirely
D. Not mess with it since it’s about the same size as you, and you know your limits

3. When it comes to dining do you prefer your food:

A. On the floor, ground, bowl, off the dinner plates of babes, wherever.
B. In a bowl
C. In a ramekin
D. In treat form

2. It is also of utmost importance to determine whether you like children. Do you prefer the company of:

A. Short people who drool
B. Medium people who use slang words like “hashtag” and “homework” and roll their eyes at grown up people
C. Grown up people who use grown up words like “business meeting” and “politics” and roll their eyes at young people
D. Grown up people who use important words like “blogging” and “happy hour” and roll their eyes at everything

1. And finally, do you feel most productive after:

A. Running long distances with your owner
B. Running around with other dogs
C. Running away from other living things
D. Running errands in your owner’s purse



If you answered mostly As: you are obviously a very athletic, high energy dog. Choose an athletic, high energy family.


If you answered mostly Bs: You may not be as athletic nor high energy as you think. Choose a family that respects your down time.

tired basset hound

If you answered mostly Cs: You are most definitely a cat. You may ignore all these tips because you will think your owner a crazy fool regardless.

annoyed cat lip curl

If you answered mostly Ds: You are either a quirky dog or a miniature pig, and may come live with me.


Questions for the humans:

Are you an animal person?

Do you have a pet? What kind? What’s his/her name?

Does your pet’s energy level fit that of your family?


35 Thoughts on “The Pet’s Guide to Choosing the Right Owner (TOL)

  1. Seeing as I ticked the bills for option D can i come live with you? But I demand to have that onesie.

    I am an animal person, especially at dinner time. Sometimes lunch time too. When I did paleo, it was all the damn time.
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…How I cheated on the Paleo DietMy Profile

  2. I think you are spot on which now explains all the trouble in my life regarding the dogs/cat I have brought home throughout the years! I should have gone to “speed-dating” with them to ensure compatibility! Love this post…Still laughing!
    carlotta recently posted…Parents No Worries!My Profile

  3. Staaaaaaahp feeding in to my puppy fever! I left my dog at home when I moved out because I didn’t want to take her away from a nice yard and coop her up in a condo, but I miss her! And I’ve been thinking about getting another one, but I don’t think it’s a good time. Ugh! See?! Now you’ve gone ahead and made me sad! 😛
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #92 .My Profile

  4. Hahahaha I love this. I have a bad feeling that even though I am TOTALLY a dog lover and kind of despise cats, that I, myself, am actually a cat. Not sure what to do with that information other than deny it when asked.
    Amy @ Long Drive Journey recently posted…The Most Difficult Time of My LifeMy Profile

  5. ^^^YES hahaha omg this is so me. I prefer dogs over cats any day but…if I were taking that quiz I’d be cat. EMBARRASSING.
    Erin @ The Almond Eater recently posted…Summer Style: Black Romper and FedoraMy Profile

  6. I am a cat person all the way! When I moved out of my parents’ house, I had to leave my cats behind. I felt funny removing them from their home and I was SO sad. At least I can go visit them once in a while!
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…Week 28 – Glucose Test and Growth UltrasoundMy Profile

  7. I’m not a huge animal person – no pets for us right now mostly because I feel sure it would be added to my list of stuff to take care of every day!
    Kim recently posted…Proud to be…My Profile

  8. What a cute post. I love yellow labs and have one. Which makes sense since I am very active. Love that photo too. I just saw that on Pinterest the other day and had to repin it.

  9. Hahaahha I got mostly B’s…damn straight I like my down time ;)! Don’t judge me but overall I am far from being an animal person- I am not sure where the fear stems from but I try to keep my distance from all dogs and cats whenever possible!
    Khushboo recently posted…Iced chai tea lattesMy Profile

  10. Hahaha Atticus is B…although he looks like a D 😉 Dammit…he needs a unicorn costume.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…WIAW: Because You Can’t Stop at One.My Profile

  11. Ah I’m a cat! That’s funny! I am not really a cat person. Maybe that is another characteristic of a cat! I don’t really have any pets but I’d make them take this quiz if I decided to get one!
    Britt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…IDEA Summer Games by Les MillsMy Profile

  12. My entire family ADORES pets….. In total we have 7 dogs. I myself, DO NOT HAVE and WILL NEVER have a dog! I am far too much upkeep, I don’t need a dog too! LOL!!!
    GiGi Eats recently posted…Enjoy These Bananas on a HammockMy Profile

  13. I am so in the pug camp. I already have one and I’d do anything to have another (although hubbie would probably divorce me)
    caren recently posted…Comment on Week In Review: Confession time by KristiMy Profile

  14. ha great post! i am an animal lover through and through. all types. i remember trying to convince my parents to take in an albino boa that my chem teacher had to re-home. they said said no . . . *tear*
    i have 4 fur children! two small pups and two crazy cats. two are hyperactive, and two are totally chill, so the dynamics are perfect. :)
    ariel@happy healthy fit recently posted…hey punkin!My Profile

  15. Cute post!!
    Deborah @ Confessions of a Mother Runner recently posted…Friday 5 things I love about Running with a groupMy Profile

  16. I take it you have a thing for miniature pigs. 😉

    My cats are definitely of the freak out in the middle of the night variety and wake up everyone in the house. They also enjoy a good hissing match underneath my bed at rough 5:30 a.m. It’s a routine thing now. And sometimes (i.e. last weekend), they catch the squirrel and bring him in the house still alive. Shenanigans ensue. I just blogged about it so your timing is impeccable.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Much Ado About EverythingMy Profile

  17. AHH I love this so much. I HATE when pets aren’t in the proper homes for their lifestyles. I LOVE animals, but am definitely more of a cat person. I do want a dog someday, but not until I know I will be able to devote a TON of attention to them. I plan to get some kind of mountain loving dog.
    Brittany recently posted…An Alpine Lake Stole My HeartMy Profile

    • Aww cute!! Yeah I want to get a dog as soon as i move- my building doesnt allow pets. But even if it did, i’m not sure my lifestyle right now is conducive to being responsible for another living thing :)

  18. Shashi at RunninSrilankan on August 26, 2014 at 4:49 am said:

    Hahaha – I can count on you to make me laugh – thanks Charlotte! Am not sure what I laughed at more – the questions or the answer key!!

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