In exercise we are always trying to go up — sit ups, push ups, pull ups, etc. However this seems to go against the natural human condition of wanting to go down — sit down, lie down, calm down, etc.

Perhaps this is why so many people are so opposed to exercise. It’s a mere issue of lexicon.

I hereby suggest that we change the lingo. CrossFit seems to have done a great job of that, however it’s all really intense and acronymy and quite frankly it scares people.

Examples:

  • Power snatch
  • Pistol
  • Push jerk
  • Sumo Deadlift High Pull

I propose something less awesome: the jargon equivalent of the doctor asking you a question then giving you a shot before you realize whats happening. It’s sneaky, but it’s for your health so it’s okay.

downton abby maggie smith reassuring

Thus, in the name of health, I’ve taken the liberty of thinking up a few name changes:

1. Sit Ups are now: Lie Back Downs.
Sure, there’s the part you have to sit up, but let’s focus on the part you get to go with gravity.

2. Push Ups are now: Where’s That Smell Coming Froms.
As in, where is that smell coming from? Is it the carpet? Lower yourself down… gross, now come back up. Wait, is it the carpet? Double check. Repeat 10 times.

3. Burpees are now: Air Raid! Just Kidding We’re All Going to Live Hoorays!
Hoorays!

4. Pull Ups are now: Peekaboos.
Or, if you’re like me, Hang Theres.

5. High Knees are now: OMG a Mouses.
And if you were in my apartment six months ago, it would not have been a drill.

6. Medicine Balls are now: Gum Balls.
Nobody likes medicine. Almost everybody loves gum!

7. Dumbbells are now: Smartbells.
Ding!

8. Deadlifts are now: Grateful Deadlifts.
“More fun than a frog in a glass of milk!” 

9. Suicides are now:  Be Right Backs.
Because you will indeed be right back, over, and over, and over again.

10. Planks are now: Original Hardwood Floorings.
Because the point of the exercise is to be stiff like wood… and this is a classy blog. 

So that’s what I think we should do.

Questions:

Can you think of any other horribly named exercises that should be renamed?

What’s your favorite workout move? Least favorite?

Favorite part of the body to work out? Least favorite?

 

Hello! Happy Thursday. This week I’m doing another Socrates post. The last one was sort of fitnessy, so this one focuses more on food.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

I guess it goes without saying I’ve been thinking a lot about food lately 😀

Here we go.

Top 8 Food Quotes:

8. On lunch:

james earl jones words in your heart you cant utter

 

7. On swag:

teaching by example

 

6. On lactose intolerance:

socrates one good one evil

 

5. On Paleo/Primal: wilde be yourself everyone else is taken

 

4. On Oatmeal:

coolidge force of an ideal

 

3. On cereal: socrates envy is the ulcer of the soul

 

2. On priorities:

socrates beautiful within

 

1. On appetites:

spinoza understand their nature

 

Bonus 1. On cooking:

socrates can only make them think

 

I did nine images instead of eight this week because I felt like I owed you after last week :)

Thanks Amanda, TOL is quickly becoming my favorite day of the week!

Questions:

What’s your favorite food? (This week? Anything with bananas!)

What do you find yourself cooking most often? (Teach me!)

What’s your drink? (Red wine and grapefruit mimosas 😀 )

 

 

So, I attended a Red Sox game over the weekend. I thusly feel this qualifies me to talk authoritatively on all things baseball-related today.

Also as a 5-year resident of both NYC and Boston*, I feel doubly qualified to talk on the most famous rivalry in sports- the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.

(*To clarify, that’s 5-year resident of each city respectively, not 5 years combined. Combined would be 10 years. Although I’ve only been out of school for 9, so now that I think about it I must have miscalculated… this is why I prefer words to numbers and leave arithmetic to calculators and robots.)

Anyways, here’s my perspective and analysis on the greatest rivalry in sports…

In Boston, if it’s too hot, too cold, too sunny, too rainy, Monday morning or someone runs out of beer, it is New York’s fault. Every 60 seconds someone in the greater Boston area gets a headache and proceeds to blame it on the “Stankees.” This fingering of the guilty culprit results in high fives exactly 100% of the time. In Boston, population explosions and declines can all be traced back 9 months to a particular victory or defeat of a particular pin-striped team. If you happen to be offered an extra Red Sox ticket and decline due to casual disinterest, prior engagements, or because you find yourself in labor or otherwise in need of immediate medical attention, the rejected ticket holder will look at you blankly and reply something like “but it’s right behind home plate.” Pillow talk consists of whispered confessions of “I miss Lest-ah.”

In perhaps the greatest irony, New Yorkers tend to be too consumed with their own goings-ons to care much about baseball. Unless they’re Mets fans.

To express it in cartoons, if NYC is Foghorn Leghorn, Boston is Henery the spirited chicken hawk:

yankees vs red sox

To express it in terms of Industrial Revolution-era enterprise, if NYC is the big bad Union Pacific Railroad, Boston is Central Pacific Railroad:

red sox v yankees rivalry

And that, my friends, in 333 words (not counting these words) and 2 helpful illustrations, is the culmination of 9 (or 10) years of astute sociological sports research.*

(*Research tactics include but not limited to: avid avoidance of sports bars and steadfast dedication to zoning out during the sports segments on the local news.)

Questions:

Would you consider yourself a “sports fan”? Like do you get really into games (be it baseball, football or something else?) (I could actually watch soccer all day!)

Are you a Yankees or Red Sox fan? (or other?)

Do you ever find it hard to calculate how long you’ve been out of college (or time in general)?

So, I may have overdone it on the thinking this week because today my concussiony brain hurts.

In lieu of something new, please enjoy this lineup of vintage Commitness posts.

vintage commitness

On Exercise:

Top 8 Signs You’re an Introverted Exerciser

Top 8 Signs You’re an Extroverted Exerciser

On Fitness Blogging:

How to be a Fitness Blogger Part 1: Lexicon

…And Part 2: Pop Quiz

On Athleticism:

How to Trick People Into Thinking You’re Athletic

On Food:

Thanks For the Spoon, But I Brought My Own Shovel

Confession Series Part 1: I Hate Greek Yogurt

On Workout Clothes/Gear:

Bad Workout Outfit

Sock Pocket!

On Boston:

In Boston, T is for Subway

On Inspiration: 

If Socrates Had Been A Blogger (TOL)

Sometimes You Just Gotta Show Up

On Golf and Bar Method:

Golf: Bar Method with Polo Shirts

On Real Life:

Top 8 Conversations Bloggers Have IRL

 

I’m not sure if this is technically TOL worthy, but I’m going with yes 😀

Thinking-Out-Loud2

Thanks Amanda!

Questions:

How long have you been blogging?

On your blog, do you ever find that the posts you personally love sometimes don’t do as well as others you’re kinda “meh” on?

Do you track your stats or do you not even look at them?