While Reality TV is indeed “television” it is in no way “reality.” Aside from the fact it’s contrived and scripted, the scenarios are a bit, shall we say, exaggerated? (For the record, in no way am I judging- I got the idea for this post while watching Below Deck.)

Thinking-Out-Loud2

However, for TOL, I’ve taken the liberty of proposing the next generation of reality TV called “actually real reality programming.” (The name needs work.) And since this is a healthy living blog, these spin-offs focus on health in all it’s many forms. ‘Natch.

Top 8 Proposed Reality TV Spin-Offs

8. Biggest Loser –> Winner of Regular Size

Follow a woman who has been decently successful in all aspects of life, aside from those last five pounds. Tune in every week as she blows this minor issue completely out of proportion and lets it seep into other areas of her life.

7. The Voice –> The Choice

Follow the daily struggle of a common office worker who has just eaten lunch but is presented with leftover food from the conference room and/or vending machine. Does she eat what we will affectionately refer to as “second lunch” again today? Find out tonight at 8.

the voice choice

6. 19 Kids and Counting –> 19 Miles and Counting

What happens in the last few miles of a marathon? Find out! Warning: It’s filmed like the Blair Witch Project in that our protagonist is holding the camera the whole time, so it’s not for the queasy.

5. Big Brother –> Little Sister

Like Big Brother, Little Sister also takes place in a house but it stars a pair of sisters who talk about sister things, like what diseases run in the family and pointing out moles they think the other should get checked out. They also get into brief disagreements about something someone said 15 years ago, agree to disagree and then both secretly call their mom later on to see who was right.

4. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo –> There Goes Bunny Foo Foo

As we all know “little Bunny Foo Foo went hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.” Well, turns out those field mice suffered concussions and are filing a joint lawsuit against Mr Foo Foo. Follow them on their journey, commentary by the Good Fairy.

here comes bunny foo foo

3. Jersey Shore –> Jersey Tour

Ride with a group of cyclists the entire length of the Turnpike, stopping in towns along the way and talking to perfectly normal people in attempt to disprove all the Jersey stereotypes perpetuated by Jersey Shore.

2. Survivor –> Survivor Boston

Follow a northeastern city-dweller who got a Groupon for a 6am outdoor boot camp in the middle of winter and makes it to one session. After severely underestimating how painful a decision that was, will she make it to session two?

1. American Idol –> American Vitals

For the hypochondriac in you.  All the excitement of Googling your symptoms now on Primetime TV– learn what that mole probably is and when a rash isn’t just a rash. Also, Ebola.

american vitals

 

While no industry honchos have approached me yet, I think it’s only because they’re intimidated by the amount of hot pink on this page.

Questions:

What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to reality TV?

Would you ever audition to be on reality TV? If so, which show??

If you would never audition to be on reality TV and this is all hypothetical- which show??

Do you believe the NJ stereotypes?

48 Thoughts on “New Ideas for Old Reality TV (TOL)

  1. I am yet to come across a ‘reality show’- calling them scripted is an understatement.

    True story- my friend was on Australia’s next top model and (i love her to bits) but she is the most non funny person ever. They made her say all these funny one liners on the show. i wasn’t lol’ing at those. I was lol’ing at how scripted it was.

    I’d audition for my kitchen rules. Do you guys have that?
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…Recipe AuthenticityMy Profile

  2. Once again, love, love , love your posting! Especially, 5, 4, &3..Still laughing!
    carlotta recently posted…You Can’t Possible Make This Stuff UP!My Profile

  3. Haha – I don’t watch much TV -but if I did – I sure would love to catch me an episode or two of “Survivor Boston” or “American Vitals” though that last one has the potential to suck me in big time!!!
    When Juan Pablo was on The Bachelor – I caught an episode to see what all the hype was about and then ended up watching the rest of the season – now “EES OK” is part of our vocab! :) If I were to audition for a reality show it would have to be something to do with cooking…like Cut Throat Kitchen – caught a few episodes of this and it’s a blast – at least for my twisted mind!

  4. I definitely believe in NJ stereotypes…and all stereotypes for that matter :-) Obviously I do not watch reality TV. I don’t even like the ‘fitness’ ones like Amazing Race. I think the dynamics of it just irritate me. However, I LOVE all of your ideas (of course) especially There Goes Bunny Fo Fo!! O.M.G!
    Allie recently posted…5 Ways to Distract Yourself During Taper Time!My Profile

  5. 😆 Also… cancer. How many times has WebMD told me that I have cancer. Or that my stiff muscles might be meningitis. Ridiculous.

    And can you believe that I’m basically in the dark when it comes to reality TV? I haven’t watched in so long that I don’t even know what’s ‘in’ right now. So I guess that answers all of your questions 😆
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #99 .My Profile

  6. Okay I’m going to let you into a little secret but you can’t judge…

    Even though I don’t watch the Kardashians, I seem to have a growing fascination by the sisters. I know so many people seem to hit on them for being famous for doing absolutely nothing but I say more power to them- you gotta do what you gotta do and clearly they are doing something right!! And if anything, you can’t deny that they function as an amazing source of entertainment!!
    Khusboo recently posted…Peanut Stir FryMy Profile

    • I completely agree! While i do like to make fun of them, i have to give credit where credit’s due. They have made very successful careers for themselves doing what they want to do. If only we could all be so lucky :)

  7. Hahahaha, yes! I will watch all of these shows, especially little sister because I can totally relate. And I’ll star in winner of regular size if you like. You can film me sitting at my desk at work looking at fitness inspo on Pinterest while eating chocolate some co-worker brought in.
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs For Food recently posted…Squeeze-it-in 30 minute workoutMy Profile

  8. Hehehe, I feel like I’m one of the ‘normal’ people trying to disprove Jersey stereotypes in real life..

    I’m totally guilty of watching some reality TV, but last night I stooped to a new reality TV watching low. I came home late from dinner with friends and somehow wound up watching Couples Therapy…. oh god, worst show ever. I spent most of the episode trying to figure out who these “celebrities” are. The best part was that I saw that I went to high school with one of the guys on the show….and unfortunately, being from NJ, this seems to be a reoccurring theme!
    Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness recently posted…{Review} Cameron Diaz’s The Body BookMy Profile

    • no way- you went to HS with one of the guys on couples therapy?? thats too funny! i grew up in NJ too, i try to tell people we’re not all like the cast of jersey shore, but people dont believe me :)

  9. I’m a huge reality tv lover. I love basically everything on Bravo. I kinda want to have a lot of money one day… or be a servant on a yacht. whatever life has for me, you know. All I know for sure is after this baby I’m getting on some 5 year birth control because I will NOT end up like 19 kids and counting!
    Ashley @ KickAshMom.com recently posted…Another Thinking Our LoudMy Profile

  10. Haha. I love the Housewives–not all of them but I’m addicted. I just can’t look away!

    I would audition for the Amazing Race. I would love to go on that show, not because it is on TV but because you get to race around the world. Of course, winning $1 million is a good motivator but I would probably pay to do it!
    Britt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…What’s Grokker? + A Giveaway!My Profile

  11. HaHa – love your take on the reality shows.
    I do enjoy several of the reality TV shows. My top choice of one to be on is The Amazing Race!
    Kim recently posted…Do NOT Google Pictures of Skin CancerMy Profile

  12. haha you crack me up so much Charlotte. Is it weird that I would legit watch #8?
    As for reality TV – I don’t watch a lot of it. I do have a soft spot for cooking competition shows though. Give me Masterchef and Top Chef!
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Goal Talk: October.My Profile

  13. HAHAHA YES!!! #6 for sure!!! If I had been filmed by a gopro the last few miles of my marathon, it would have been hilarious, painful, and I probably sounded insane. I’m pretty sure by the end of the race I was slurring my speech, cursing the heavens, and unable to even read my watch. HA! Sure makes me want to do it again…
    Sarah @ Sweet Miles recently posted…Personal Self Defense Class: Just say NOMy Profile

  14. I am addicted to the Bravo Housewives series primarily the NJ, NYC and OC series. The rest I can live without but these I just have to watch.
    Megan @ Skinny Fitalicious recently posted…The Mental War of Weight Loss, Injury Changed My Body & I Resent ItMy Profile

  15. How about real housewives of Russia? Talk about getting freezed out (WINK). I would totally tune into the life and trials of Bunny Foo Foo going around and bopping people on the head. Or is that a police show?
    Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…Fun, Functional Fueling for Fitness and RunningMy Profile

  16. Wait, did I miss them or did you actually forget to include the screening times of The Choice and American Vitals? Okay, actually, I don’t own a TV – never have – but I feel no shame in admitting I used to watch Germany’s Next Topmodel every year while still living at my parents. Even though the show got worse by the year there was still Heidi Klum to laugh about. One of my colleagues actually knows two girls who participated and got rather far during the past two seasons.
    Also, I think part of the reason why I don’t watch any reality shows – aside from lack of TV – is the fact they’re all lame over here. I mean, you have Adam Levine sitting in the jury of The Voice?! I’d watch the show just to see him!
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Coffee chat and and colour-coordinated cleaningMy Profile

  17. Girl, I was going to be on Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor, but 2 days before filming, I backed out.
    GiGi Eats recently posted…Good Mood Food: We Could All Use SomeMy Profile

  18. Oh my gosh hahaha the second lunch thing was such a problem for me at my old job. I used to eat a really nice healthy lunch but then SURPRISE! Leftover Potbelly’s in the conference room! The eternal struggle: I’m not hungry but….but…it’s free, so………
    Lauren @ ihadabiglunch recently posted…Maple Cinnamon Protein Chia PuddingMy Profile

  19. I think you’re really on to something here! If you need someone to star in The Choice, I’d happily let you follow me around post-lunch. Every day is an adventure. Will she second-lunch, or won’t she? Tune in next time…
    Whitney @ To Live & Diet in L.A. recently posted…4 Weeks of Wellness with GrokkerMy Profile

  20. Pingback: Sunday Funday 10/12/14, I'm Gonna Be All Right - Skinny Fitalicious

  21. You crack me up. I’d pretty much watch all of your reality shows, scripted or not.

    Um as for me, I watch all the Housewives, except Miami. Those ladies are like crack. I can’t stay away.

  22. BWAH HA HA HA!!! I would so totally tune in every week for every single one of these shows!! LOVE IT! The Choice made me snort!-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted…School Breaks Are The Best–Said No Mom EverMy Profile

  23. Omg this is hysterical! I am currently wondering if I should go into the kitchen for a second lunch right at this moment! American Vitals would chronicle my life and never run out of episodes!
    Nellie @ Brooklyn Active Mama recently posted…Annie For Target Collection Preview!My Profile

  24. We have some really cool reality shows in Australia. Like Arman said, My Kitchen Rules is a good one.
    Recently I got into The Block, which is an Aussie home improvement show where couples compete to renovate an apartment building. At the end of the show the apartments are auctioned off for millions of dollars and whoevers sells for the highest bid is the winner. My boyfriend and I have talked about auditioning for that one while we are still living over here.
    Andrea @ The Pineapple Cake recently posted…Friday Favorites XXIVMy Profile

  25. I completely and totally lived LITTLE SISTER for two years while I was in grad school…..the big plot twist? I unexpectedly had a baby 4 months before I moved out. It would have made for some great tv drama, plus, we did each call my mom behind the other’s back soooooo many times!
    AmberLynn Pappas recently posted…Simple Simon SundaysMy Profile

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