While Reality TV is indeed “television” it is in no way “reality.” Aside from the fact it’s contrived and scripted, the scenarios are a bit, shall we say, exaggerated? (For the record, in no way am I judging- I got the idea for this post while watching Below Deck.)
However, for TOL, I’ve taken the liberty of proposing the next generation of reality TV called “actually real reality programming.” (The name needs work.) And since this is a healthy living blog, these spin-offs focus on health in all it’s many forms. ‘Natch.
Top 8 Proposed Reality TV Spin-Offs
8. Biggest Loser –> Winner of Regular Size
Follow a woman who has been decently successful in all aspects of life, aside from those last five pounds. Tune in every week as she blows this minor issue completely out of proportion and lets it seep into other areas of her life.
7. The Voice –> The Choice
Follow the daily struggle of a common office worker who has just eaten lunch but is presented with leftover food from the conference room and/or vending machine. Does she eat what we will affectionately refer to as “second lunch” again today? Find out tonight at 8.
6. 19 Kids and Counting –> 19 Miles and Counting
What happens in the last few miles of a marathon? Find out! Warning: It’s filmed like the Blair Witch Project in that our protagonist is holding the camera the whole time, so it’s not for the queasy.
5. Big Brother –> Little Sister
Like Big Brother, Little Sister also takes place in a house but it stars a pair of sisters who talk about sister things, like what diseases run in the family and pointing out moles they think the other should get checked out. They also get into brief disagreements about something someone said 15 years ago, agree to disagree and then both secretly call their mom later on to see who was right.
4. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo –> There Goes Bunny Foo Foo
As we all know “little Bunny Foo Foo went hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.” Well, turns out those field mice suffered concussions and are filing a joint lawsuit against Mr Foo Foo. Follow them on their journey, commentary by the Good Fairy.
3. Jersey Shore –> Jersey Tour
Ride with a group of cyclists the entire length of the Turnpike, stopping in towns along the way and talking to perfectly normal people in attempt to disprove all the Jersey stereotypes perpetuated by Jersey Shore.
2. Survivor –> Survivor Boston
Follow a northeastern city-dweller who got a Groupon for a 6am outdoor boot camp in the middle of winter and makes it to one session. After severely underestimating how painful a decision that was, will she make it to session two?
1. American Idol –> American Vitals
For the hypochondriac in you. All the excitement of Googling your symptoms now on Primetime TV– learn what that mole probably is and when a rash isn’t just a rash. Also, Ebola.
While no industry honchos have approached me yet, I think it’s only because they’re intimidated by the amount of hot pink on this page.
What’s your guilty pleasure when it comes to reality TV?
Would you ever audition to be on reality TV? If so, which show??
If you would never audition to be on reality TV and this is all hypothetical- which show??
Do you believe the NJ stereotypes?