After several years of observing Healthy Living Bloggers (Scribus Bloggerus Salutem) in the wild, the scientific community* has assembled the following profile on this most baffling yet charming subset of society.

*scientific community = me (who has no scientific knowledge whatsoever, but did take 2 years of high school Latin.)

Temporal Range: Early to Mid- Internet Era to Present.

hlb scientific classification

Etymology

The Healthy Living Blogger (Scribus Bloggerus Salutem) is an entertaining member of the human race. Full of advice, recipes, workouts and anecdotes, the Scribus Bloggerus (for short) is perhaps the most amusing of all the Hominidae.

Evolution and Conservation

Evolving from their predecessors the Scribus MySpaceum, the Scribus Bloggerus is a modern, less creepy subset. They are now a thriving breed and — in what may sound both comforting and threatening– are in absolutely no danger of going anywhere.

blogger conservation status

Range and Habitat

Scientists have found Scribus Bloggerus all over the world. Indeed HL Bloggers have proven to be a hearty stock, needing only edible fare, a camera phone and the slightest internet connection to survive.

When it comes to literary range, some Bloggers have proven themselves more capable than others. This is also true on oven ranges.

Habits and Behavior

HL Bloggers tend to roam the internet in packs, leaving their scent in the form of comments on each other’s sites and developing a strong sense of community and long distance friendships.

However, it is still unclear to scientists when this curious breed sleeps. Having jobs, children, and other commitments during the day, many bloggers have been known to both burn the midnight oil and get up before the sun. At times it seems the only light source they need is the blue-ish glow of their monitors.

Diet

The diet of the Scribus Bloggerus Salutem has baffled scientists for years. It seems no two Bloggers are the same, and vary from completely carnivorous to completely vegan. Others have been known to subsist for long stretches on caffeine and select items from the Starbucks pastry display.

However, despite this variety in dietary needs, most HL Bloggers find common ground in their shared love of protein powder, nut butters and free samples.

Reproduction

The reproduction of another blogger’s idea on one’s own blog without giving credit where credit is due is the bane of the Scribus Bloggerus’ existence.

While Reproductive Rights have come  a long way, the debate is far from over: Many see it as a matter of morality, yet many others insist, “my body of work, my choice.”

Relationship with Humans

The relationship between HL Bloggers and regular humans is one of confusion. Oftentimes, researchers have overheard one Blogger say to another Blogger “my non-blogging friends and family just don’t get it.” This unequivocally has led science to conclude that the Scribus Bloggerus Salutem must be the smartest (or at least smart aleckest) of their kind.

 

Thanks to Amanda for encouraging these thoughts to go from my head to the internet.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

 

Questions:

Were you ever on Myspace?

How much sleep do you need to be able to function?

How long have you been blogging??

46 Thoughts on “A National Geographicesque Look at Bloggers

  1. Dude…how can we get you a book deal and a nobel peace prize at once? You talented little Scribus Bloggerus Salutem avec Sassafaajskvhdf (sass). The avec is French for with. But you probably knew that because you so smart.

    We should bring myspace back so I can fight with your number 1 for the top friend spot.
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…‘You like to bake? You must be a fag.’My Profile

  2. You are correct again! You must be a HL Blogger!
    Carlotta Boeschenstein recently posted…Recognizing Happiness!My Profile

  3. “…and need only the slightest internet connection to survive!” Amen to that!! Another great one. You have captured our species well my friend.
    Allie recently posted…Sticker ShockMy Profile

  4. OMG I don’t know what I love more- this post or the throwback to high school biology! Although my mind is running blank with all the technical terms, I remember loving this part of the syllabus! After much playing around, I am an Omnivora Blogerus who’s been blogging for 4.5 years! This kinda classification sounds so much more legit- I like it :)!
    Khusboo recently posted…Busting nutrition-related mythsMy Profile

  5. Your facts and arguments are well presented. But what about diseases and prey? And can we get Steve Irwin’s ghost, or at the very least Morgan Freeman, to narrate?
    Susie @ SuzLyfe recently posted…NYC, Running Late, Autumn, Sproing, $13m Condos, Thinking Out LoudMy Profile

  6. Yes to the shared love of protein powder, nut butters and free samples! As far as the sleep goes, I need my 8 hours or I’m miserable to be around. If I haven’t slept, the blog will have to wait!
    Kelly @ Kelly Runs for Food recently posted…How to balance blogging with real lifeMy Profile

  7. This is very well written and Very Funny! Great job! Have a good day!
    Fran@BCDC recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #3My Profile

  8. Hahah too genius! Indeed – proof that we are the smartest of our kind 😉

    I’ve only been blogging a year and a half, but I’m a prime specimen of the nut-butter-lovin species!
    Cat recently posted…Why Get A Personal Trainer?My Profile

  9. 😆 HLB’s are definitely an interesting breed, and it’s pretty amazing how big of a difference I notice between the blog world and the “real” world… Sometimes I have to make it a point to remember that the blog world is only a small (and “unique”) subset of the entire population, and that spinach smoothies aren’t the first things that pop into someone’s mind when they hear the term “green monsters.”
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud # 102 .My Profile

  10. Lol, this is pretty awesome. Totally agree, sometimes that non-bloggers just don’t get it…
    Alysia @ Slim Sanity recently posted…Alcohol Nutrition Label – Where Is It?My Profile

  11. I took two years of high school Latin too! The most I got out of it was to know how to sing a couple Christmas carols in Latin (Adeste Fideles, woot woot!)

    It is a struggle for real out in the jungle for us Scribus Bloggerus Salutems (don’t ask me for the proper plural of that!)
    Chris recently posted…Halo Headband Review (with Giveaway!)My Profile

    • Omg Chris we’re so in sync – the main thing I remember is “semper ubi sub ubi” – translation: always wear underwear. Yep, that’s the sort of education that sticks with a person 15 years later.

  12. Lol to all of this. Especially the diet part. So true – we are all SO different with our diets but those few things are definitely a bottom line for all of us. I don’t know if I’ve ever come across a blogger who doesn’t love some kind of nut butter. That would be blasphemy
    Lauren @ ihadabiglunch recently posted…Thinking Out Loud: franken fraps and waterboardingMy Profile

  13. Haha. Love it! I definitely have used the phrases “My blogging/non-blogging friends.” Blogging definitely interferes with my sleep sometimes. I don’t know why I get so crazy about making sure I have a post ready but I do!
    Britt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…Prenatal Barre WorkoutMy Profile

  14. You are one clever and witty Scribus Bloggerus Salutem, HAHA! Couldn’t be more true on all levels.
    Shelly recently posted…Wod Love Wednesdays – New PR + A 2008 CrossFit Games RepeatMy Profile

  15. Well, we do all love protein powder, nut butter and free samples… :-p haha we are an interesting bunch of people, that is for sure.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Rehashing October.My Profile

  16. Loved this!! I don’t know that I’m a healthy living blogger but I at lest fit the last 2 words (living blogger)!!! The last road trip we took I told Chris I ended a hotspot for the car so I could blog on the drive – money well spent!!!
    Kim recently posted…Sometimes You Just Have to Admit DefeatMy Profile

  17. Oh goodness! All-out amazing. I hope you got a stellar grade for your thesis delving even deeper into this heavily discussed yet still not completely demystified materia. As an authority on the matter I bow my head in front of you for compiling this easily understandable even for the common hummus sapien extract.
    Rumor has it you’re shortlisted for the Nobel price for your outstanding and fearless approach of studying the species by blinding in with them.
    By writing this I’m cutting myself short off another five minutes of sleep. Just living up to expectations …
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…How to stress less about expectations.My Profile

  18. Oh my goodness, you write the funniest dang articles and I’m so glad I have found your blog recently. This is AWESOME. I am a proud Scribus Bloggerus Salutem! And the one line that made me laugh out loud was

    “When it comes to literary range, some Bloggers have proven themselves more capable than others. This is also true on oven ranges.”

    You’re a genius.
    Kaylin @ Enticing Healthy Eating recently posted…Soul-SearchingMy Profile

  19. I think these posts that you do are my favorite. You creative sassy chic you.
    Brittany recently posted…All Hallow’s EveMy Profile

  20. Pingback: Good good links #63 | Let's get living

  21. Haha – lady you are too funny!
    Just today a friend and I were debating the existence of the Scribus MySpaceum!!!
    And yup – that blue monitor glow sure does light up a room – if only we could make it be flattering food photography lighting!!! I get way too little sleep during the week – but I ctch up in a big way on the weekend – if I don’t have a chance to catch up on the weekend I become Scribus Irritatium which turns into Scribus majorbiatchium if not attended to!!

  22. Hehehe you’re definitely right, the blogger species is in no worries of becoming extinct! Because there are just that many of us awesome creatures roaming the planet eating delicious food and taking photos of EVERY DAMN THING :)
    Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness recently posted…Arugula Pesto Linguine with Tomato & ZucchiniMy Profile

  23. Spot on here!
    I think I can function on minimal hours of sleep as long as I get woken up naturally (or by the sun). If an alarm goes off and interrupts my dream, there is hell to pay in the morning.
    Andrea @ The Pineapple Cake recently posted…The Melbourne Cup for 30 BucksMy Profile

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