People classify themselves by all sorts of things — nationality, gender, creed, Boston sports fan, etc. Personally, I identify as a morning worker-outer.
We’re a small but proud subset of society. Waking up early, we start sweating before most people even open their eyes.
Some may wonder why any sane person would want to get up 2 hours before they normally would, in the dead of winter, to go inflict pain on their muscles, but to those parties I respond the following: I work out at 6am because 6pm is happy hour, and therefore an inappropriate time to be in a gym.
When people ask how I stick to a morning workout routine, I look them in the eye, lean in real close and say “I WAKE THE F UP.”
“You wake the F up?” they reply curiously.
“It’s an acronym” I tell them. “I WAKE THE F UP. And now, so can you.”
How to be a Morning Worker-Outer: WAKE THE F UP
Step 1. Wipe the sleep from your eyes and the tears from your cheek as your alarm goes off at the ungodly hour you set it for.
Step 2. Avow revenge on the morning time.
Step 3. Knock over everything on your bedside table as you fall out of bed like some sort of tranquilized animal.
Step 4. Eat something. Food, preferably.
Step 5. Then drink coffee.
Step 6. Hug. As in, start to feel the comfort of caffeine coursing through your veins like the warm, stimulanty hug that it is.
Step 7. Ease into your workout clothes.
Step 8. Feet. Whats on them? You’ll need shoes if you’re going to complete this mission, soldier.
Step 9. Undergo transformation from sleepy half-beast to more awake human.
Step 10. Propel yourself full steam ahead out of the house and into the gym like the badass early riser you are.
And there you have it. You too will be a morning worker-outer if you simply remember to WAKE THE F UP.
Like every Thursday, this post is the electronic manifestation of me Thinking Out Loud.
Are you a morning, evening or mid-day worker-outer?
Are you a morning person in general?
What time of day are you at your best?