If we were to personify your inner athlete, what would he or she look like?
Big and intense like the Hulk?
Agile and speedy like the Flash?
Strong and focused like Bruce Lee?
…Mine looks more like Larry David.
It’s whiny, neurotic, and manages to offend others by just being itself. (But on the upside, it wears sneakers everywhere.)
Whenever it comes to trying a new activity, the following conversation between me and my Inner Athlete (IA) comes to pass:
Me: I should try CrossFit.
IA: (Sits up from a reclining position) What are you nuts?! Have you seen the amount of coordination and lung capacity and general athleticism required for CrossFit? Have you seen how much people sweat? Do you even have that much water in your body?
Me: Yeah, but you know, people start out at all different levels.
IA: Yeah you’re going to get leveled if you take one step inside that Box, Snowflake.
Me: I think you’re overreacting. I’ll just go at my own pace.
IA: What is this really about? Are you stressed? Anxious? Can’t you just take a brisk walk and call it a day?
Me: What? No — I just think it’s time I try CrossFit. Everybody who tries it seems to love it.
IA: Have it your way but just so you know, I’m not on board with this.
Me: Listen, Inner Athlete — this is happening.
IA: Listen, Charlotte — this is not happening yet. What if your form is all wrong and you break in half like a twig? What if your form is perfect but you get stuck frozen in that position with the thing above your head and can’t move til someone notices and has to come rescue you? What if your barre workout clothes don’t cut it for Box workouts? What if you need upper body strength? What if there are people there?
Me: Huh, I hadn’t thought about those things.
IA: (Says nothing, returns to reclining position.)
Me: Ok, you win this week. But next week we’re doing it!
IA: Oh good, next week you have a dentist appointment so that’ll be convenient when you accidentally knock your teeth out.
My Inner Athlete and I then stare at each other for a while, simultaneously saying everything and nothing:
So if we were to personify your inner athlete, which one do you most identify with — Hulk, Lee, Flash or David?
Or, if none of those options are to your liking, what famous person or cartoon character does inner athlete most resemble?