Greetings.

I am writing to you from inside one of Boston’s many mega-tall snowbanks.

snowbank 4

I can not be sure how long I’ve been here, but Comcast has already come to install cable, internet and home phone services (two of which I neither need nor want, but it’s cheaper for all three so okay) therefore I can only assume it’s been a few weeks. I don’t even know how they found me, but according to the technician, I was the 3rd snow bank appointment that morning.

As he was leaving I tried to follow him out, but he said I couldn’t leave until HQ called to test my new landline. So here I remain, but I have to admit it’s not that bad now that I have wifi.

You see, a few weeks (months?) ago I was walking down the street minding my own business when a snowplow came out of nowhere and buried me in what I now affectionately refer to as my winter snow palace.

How am I surviving you ask? Well, luckily I always carry snacks in my purse so hunger hasn’t been a problem. Additionally, there is plenty of water around, which I’ve always thought of as something you drink when you’re out of wine, but it’s actually quite refreshing in it’s own right.

What have I been up to? Well, for starters I joined twitter. I published a couple things to Medium on snowbank real estate. And I caught up on my correspondence.

texting

In snowbank neighborhood news, I think I have a new neighbor based on the sounds of shivering and chattering teeth I’ve been hearing for the last few days. (These walls are so thin #IglooProblems.) Luckily I spent my childhood building up a tolerance to ridiculously cold indoor temperatures because my mother “runs hot.” I nary remember a day the thermostat was over 56, so I feel right at home in here.

I look forward to my release with the impending spring melt, but I have to admit it’s been a nice staycation of sorts. Anyways, I gotta run. Not literally of course, but the pizza delivery guy seems to have finally burrowed into the right snowbank.

Questions:

How have you been surviving snowmageddonpacalypse ’15?

New Englanders — lets take a poll — does this make us stronger or want to move south? (The latter…)

 

So, I attended a Red Sox game over the weekend. I thusly feel this qualifies me to talk authoritatively on all things baseball-related today.

Also as a 5-year resident of both NYC and Boston*, I feel doubly qualified to talk on the most famous rivalry in sports- the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.

(*To clarify, that’s 5-year resident of each city respectively, not 5 years combined. Combined would be 10 years. Although I’ve only been out of school for 9, so now that I think about it I must have miscalculated… this is why I prefer words to numbers and leave arithmetic to calculators and robots.)

Anyways, here’s my perspective and analysis on the greatest rivalry in sports…

In Boston, if it’s too hot, too cold, too sunny, too rainy, Monday morning or someone runs out of beer, it is New York’s fault. Every 60 seconds someone in the greater Boston area gets a headache and proceeds to blame it on the “Stankees.” This fingering of the guilty culprit results in high fives exactly 100% of the time. In Boston, population explosions and declines can all be traced back 9 months to a particular victory or defeat of a particular pin-striped team. If you happen to be offered an extra Red Sox ticket and decline due to casual disinterest, prior engagements, or because you find yourself in labor or otherwise in need of immediate medical attention, the rejected ticket holder will look at you blankly and reply something like “but it’s right behind home plate.” Pillow talk consists of whispered confessions of “I miss Lest-ah.”

In perhaps the greatest irony, New Yorkers tend to be too consumed with their own goings-ons to care much about baseball. Unless they’re Mets fans.

To express it in cartoons, if NYC is Foghorn Leghorn, Boston is Henery the spirited chicken hawk:

yankees vs red sox

To express it in terms of Industrial Revolution-era enterprise, if NYC is the big bad Union Pacific Railroad, Boston is Central Pacific Railroad:

red sox v yankees rivalry

And that, my friends, in 333 words (not counting these words) and 2 helpful illustrations, is the culmination of 9 (or 10) years of astute sociological sports research.*

(*Research tactics include but not limited to: avid avoidance of sports bars and steadfast dedication to zoning out during the sports segments on the local news.)

Questions:

Would you consider yourself a “sports fan”? Like do you get really into games (be it baseball, football or something else?) (I could actually watch soccer all day!)

Are you a Yankees or Red Sox fan? (or other?)

Do you ever find it hard to calculate how long you’ve been out of college (or time in general)?

Welcome friends and nature lovers to Nature Talk, where we talk nature, to nature. Just because you live in a city, there’s no excuse not to enjoy all the natural wonder around you. On today’s edition, we’re going to talk to a pigeon and a squirrel.

Thank you for joining me. I’m your host, Charlotte G, and I’m currently walking to the gym. It seems that we have come upon a whole flock of pigeons gathered around a statue eating stuff off the ground. It is our lucky day!

Me: Oh hello pigeon! Looks like you are eating bread crumbs! How are those bread crumbs?

(Kid at the other end comes running up behind the pack causing dozens of frightened pigeons to fly away)

Me: (ducking for cover)

Pigeon: (poops on the back of my head)

please-stand-by

Welcome back friends. I cleaned the pigeon poop out of my hair at the gym, had a mighty fine workout, and now I’m walking home via the park. I think I’ll stop by this park bench to stretch my hamstrings a bit more… Is that a rustling I hear behind me?

(More rustling in the bushes)

Me: Oh hello squirrel! Are you gathering nuts for the winter?

(While still stretching, I look through my legs upside down at the small rodent emerging from the brush)

Squirrel: (Turns out to be a rat)

Me: (Screaming like a banshee)

DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT:

rat

(I run away in the manner everyone does when trying to get away from a rat- quickly, with knees high, and arms flailing)

This has been Nature Talk with Charlotte G. Join us next time when we talk to a cockroach we find in the laundry room.

 

Do you live in the city, suburbs or country?

Are you an animal person?

Are you afraid of rodents?

Whats your biggest phobia?

So, I live in a city. I don’t have a car because I walk or take pubic transportation everywhere. For now, it suits me. However, being a city walker is no easy task. It takes years of practice in order to master such techniques as “walking with a purpose”.

walking-with-a-purpose

And it takes some very fancy footwork to avoid food carts, tourists who are looking upward and to the left at whatever old monument is upward and to the left, homeless or drunk people who don’t walk in straight lines, emergency vehicles, strollers, pets, and the like.

For the most part my walking strategy is the good ol’ “bob and weave”. Walk quickly, pass on the left, stay alert and get ahead of any large crowds. If you’re walking with a friend, make sure that friend knows the “figure 8” move. One of my friends, Christine, is also a great city walker and she and I can figure-8 around slow pokes and large crowds without even pausing the conversation.

However, the one person I will yield to every time is a runner.

Boston has plenty of designated running paths, but runners still need to get to and from said paths. So often I see runners just running in place as tourists cut them off in huge packs, or when everyone is trying to funnel through a park gate entrance the runners just bob up and down politely waiting their turn.

Those poor runners. They don’t deserve that. Runners want to be running. So, I’m calling on everybody to YIELD TO RUNNERS. Let them pass you. They’ll be out of your way in 1 second at most. Pause, let them go and then continue on your way. Together, we can keep city pedestrian traffic moving, and runners running.

i yield to runners

Everybody wins.

Who’s with me? Do you yield to runners?

Runners- do you run in crowded areas? Do you get upset when you get cut off by walkers?