I recently noticed some interesting conversations about healthy morning routines going on at ALOHA, so I thought I’d join.

Without further ado, here’s my routine. A-five, six… a-five, six, seven, eight!

5:00 AM: Alarm goes off. I wake up looking and feeling fantastic.

sleepy

5:05 AM: I leap out of bed, needing only but a couple deep breaths of fresh oxygen to wake me up fully.

coffee 1

5:something AM:  (A few more deep breaths)

all the coffee

Still-not-quite-6 AM: I then slip into my Bar Method clothes…

winter 1

6:00 AM: … And prance on over to the studio where I begin class full of energy and awesomeness.

bar method 2

bar method 3

Over the course of the next hour, a transformation occurs. I go from grumpy beast to happy human. Light radiates from my fingertips accordingly.

Transformation-beauty-and-the-beast

7:00 AM: I leave class feeling stronger, happier and less sarcastic*.

happy

(*That last one is debatable.)

Sometime after 7:00 AM: I return home for more nourishing recipes. While for most people this means a protein-packed smoothie or food you can actually chew, I simply prefer more caffeine and/or chocolate at this point in my day, like this cup of liquid witchcraft:

Superfood Hot Chocolate

Superfood Hot Chocolate: it’s healthy and chocolatey at the same time…

Why yes, ALOHA, your magic is welcome here.

8:14 AM: Realizing it’s 14 minutes later than I thought, I peel myself away from the Today show, frantically throw snacks into my purse and make myself presentable(ish) with a vim that was severely lacking an hour earlier.

8:16(ish) AM: Leave for work feeling good!

happy 2

Moral: While we all like to think the perfect morning routine involves beautifully dawning sunlight, 72 degree weather, an ocean view and some outdoor exercise, that’s simply not reality when you live beyond the wall in the Northeast in wintertime. (Note to self: relocate, Charlotte.)  Maintaining a happy outlook and healthy habits takes work and, quite frankly, delicious things.

Disclaimer: As you all probably know, I accept brand incentives in the following forms:

  1. Money
  2. Power
  3. Merchandise that’s made of chocolate, caffeine and/or alcohol
  4. Compliments

ALOHA gave me none of the above.

 

Questions:

What’s your morning routine?

Are you a breakfast person? (Once I get to my desk, I eat every hour on the hour til lunch)

If your routine is thrown off, does it affect the rest of your day? (YES!)

As I was trying to figure out what to have for a mid-morning snack the other day (deciding between a yogurt followed by a banana, or half a Chocolove chocolate bar followed by the other half of that bar) I started thinking about nutrition labels.

Experts have agreed upon the following label as the best way to educate mankind about what we’re putting in our bodies:

nutrition label

These labels are fine. Totally adequate. We’ve all been taught what they mean. However, if we actually understood them we wouldn’t need Weight Watchers to simplify things further and count points for us.

When it comes to labels, I like them to tell me exactly what’s going on without numbers. This is the proper way. Case and point: The letter A was used in 17th century colonial Boston to label adulteresses as evidenced in The Scarlet Letter, and in more modern times fashion designers have been kind enough to use labels such as “Prada,” “Ralph Lauren” and so on. Therefore, my proposed labels would be free of meaningless math as well.

no capes no math

My proposed labels would also deconstruct the current ones even further. For example, when I look at fat content, I’m really wondering how long until I’m hungry again. When I look at potassium, well, I don’t– if I wanted potassium I’d eat a banana. My point is, each line on my new nutrition label still answers the same question as it did on the old label. The line for sodium still tells you about sodium, the line for cholesterol still tells you about cholesterol… but in a way that does not require conversions:

For example, let’s say I wanted to eat some junk food:

new nutrition labels

So there you have it. I’m sure Mrs Obama will reach out to me when she’s not so busy and we’ll start a new health campaign called “Food: Ready, Filling and Labeled.”

So that’s what I’m thinking (out loud) today. Thanks Amanda!

Thinking-Out-Loud2

 

Questions:

What do you look at when you look at nutrition labels? (I always glance at fat, sodium, and protein. And sometimes sugar.)

Do you pay attention to suggested serving sizes?  (I do pay attention, I just don’t always agree with their suggestion.)

Do you like numbers? (Gross.)

After several years of observing Healthy Living Bloggers (Scribus Bloggerus Salutem) in the wild, the scientific community* has assembled the following profile on this most baffling yet charming subset of society.

*scientific community = me (who has no scientific knowledge whatsoever, but did take 2 years of high school Latin.)

Temporal Range: Early to Mid- Internet Era to Present.

hlb scientific classification

Etymology

The Healthy Living Blogger (Scribus Bloggerus Salutem) is an entertaining member of the human race. Full of advice, recipes, workouts and anecdotes, the Scribus Bloggerus (for short) is perhaps the most amusing of all the Hominidae.

Evolution and Conservation

Evolving from their predecessors the Scribus MySpaceum, the Scribus Bloggerus is a modern, less creepy subset. They are now a thriving breed and — in what may sound both comforting and threatening– are in absolutely no danger of going anywhere.

blogger conservation status

Range and Habitat

Scientists have found Scribus Bloggerus all over the world. Indeed HL Bloggers have proven to be a hearty stock, needing only edible fare, a camera phone and the slightest internet connection to survive.

When it comes to literary range, some Bloggers have proven themselves more capable than others. This is also true on oven ranges.

Habits and Behavior

HL Bloggers tend to roam the internet in packs, leaving their scent in the form of comments on each other’s sites and developing a strong sense of community and long distance friendships.

However, it is still unclear to scientists when this curious breed sleeps. Having jobs, children, and other commitments during the day, many bloggers have been known to both burn the midnight oil and get up before the sun. At times it seems the only light source they need is the blue-ish glow of their monitors.

Diet

The diet of the Scribus Bloggerus Salutem has baffled scientists for years. It seems no two Bloggers are the same, and vary from completely carnivorous to completely vegan. Others have been known to subsist for long stretches on caffeine and select items from the Starbucks pastry display.

However, despite this variety in dietary needs, most HL Bloggers find common ground in their shared love of protein powder, nut butters and free samples.

Reproduction

The reproduction of another blogger’s idea on one’s own blog without giving credit where credit is due is the bane of the Scribus Bloggerus’ existence.

While Reproductive Rights have come  a long way, the debate is far from over: Many see it as a matter of morality, yet many others insist, “my body of work, my choice.”

Relationship with Humans

The relationship between HL Bloggers and regular humans is one of confusion. Oftentimes, researchers have overheard one Blogger say to another Blogger “my non-blogging friends and family just don’t get it.” This unequivocally has led science to conclude that the Scribus Bloggerus Salutem must be the smartest (or at least smart aleckest) of their kind.

 

Thanks to Amanda for encouraging these thoughts to go from my head to the internet.

Thinking-Out-Loud2

 

Questions:

Were you ever on Myspace?

How much sleep do you need to be able to function?

How long have you been blogging??

So, last week we did Food and Fitness Limericks. Therefore, this week it only seems apt that we do Fitness and Food Haikus. (Apt partially because one good literary device deserves another, but mostly because I love a good partial rhyme in a title.)

bring it on gif

…Or anywhere, really.

The following notes are addressed to things, concepts and notions. The body of the note is in the 5-7-5 syllable pattern known as haiku.

Here we go.

 

8. 

bar method haiku

 

7.

running haiku

 

6. 

psl haiku

 

5. 

west side story haiku

 

4. 

venn haiku

 

3.  

banana haiku

 

2. 

acne haiku 1

 

1. 

dessert haiku

 

Questions:

It’s truth time- do you actually like Pumpkin Spice Lattes or just the idea of them? (I want to like them, I just don’t.)

Are you over the age of 20 and do you still get acne? (Yes.)

Do you prefer dinner or dessert? (Calories and nutritional value not withstanding, I would ideally eat dessert for every meal.)