It’s Thursday! Are you psyched? I’m psyched. And I’m going to celebrate with cake. Lots and lots of cake :)

funny-girl-chocolate-cake-child-cute

Because my leftover birthday cake is in my fridge, but it should be in my belly.

Anyways, it’s Great 8 List time! Which is kinda like Peanut Butter Jelly Time, but without the baseball bat.

Today’s Great 8 List is one that I think we are all guilty of from time to time: EXCUSES. “Excuses are like buttholes, everyone has one and they all stink. ” – someone brilliant.

However, I’ve used them all at one point or another to get out of a workout. Remember high school gym class??

Clueless

I must have told my gym teachers every single excuse in the book, and some that were too ridiculous to even put in the book.

For example, remember the swimming unit?? (Or were you lucky enough to attend a high school without a pool?) Well, I hated the swim unit with a strong passion and would claim that I had my period for the duration of all 6 weeks that unit lasted. I therefore never had to get into the water with all those crazy boys in my class who would splash around and act like water hooligans. I also did everything in my power to avoid the volleyball unit (at 5’0, there’s not much to like about this sport) and I would forge notes from my mother saying that I did not have to participate due to my being allergic to humiliation.

I would also claim that I forgot my gym clothes at home, but that one could backfire because sometimes my gym teacher would hand me something from the locker room’s lost & found bin.

gross

Anyways, just because I’ve outgrown high school gym class doesn’t mean I’ve outgrown excuses. On the contrary! I’ve just gotten better at them.

Top 8 Ways to Sabotage Your Workout Plan 

Excuse #8: “I didn’t go to the gym on Monday, so there’s really no point in going now that it’s mid-week… I might as well just wait until next Monday.”

Excuse #7: “It’s too rainy/ hot/ cold/ windy/ humid outside.”

Excuse #6: “I feel fat, I think it’s best to just stay home and eat today.”

cake today

Excuse #5: Logically and persuasively talk yourself out of it.

Excuse #4: “I’m out of socks, I can’t be expected to be active without socks.” (If Tabitha Parker-Broderick can rock one sock everywhere, so can you)

Sarah Jessica Parker Walks Her Daughters To School

SJP.Twins.mh.052913

The Broderick Twins Walk Home From School

Excuse #3. “I dont feel like leaving my house.”

house

Excuse #2: “I dont feel like leaving my bed.”

pooh

Excuse #1: “I’ll go tomorrow.”

tomorrow

 

The end.

I find that going to Bar Method first thing in the morning works best for me because I just get up and go. I’m too sleepy to come up with excuses at 5:30am. And I can’t oversleep because they charge you $15 for not showing up. I’m too miserly to throw 15 whole US Dollars out the window for a few more minutes of shut eye.

Are you prone to making up excuses to get out of exercise?

How do you combat that?

Did you ever forge notes to get out of gym class?

 

Happy Thursday all!! Thursday means one thing in this corner of the interwebs: it’s time for the Great 8 list.

So, this Sunday is my birthday. I’m turning thir- ahem, sorry there must be something in my throat. I’m turning thir- ahem! one more time, here we go, I’m turning thir- nope. Sorry. It’s the 1st anniversary of my 29th birthday. Rhymes with flirty, nerdy and wordy.

staycalm

Ohh I’m being dramatic. It’s cool. I’m actually really psyched about entering this new decade, as long as I’m not expected to give up my propensity for immature jokes and bathroom humor, I’m ready to kick off the thirties with aplomb.

I was trying to figure out how to make a Great 8 list out of turning 30, and you guys, Buzzfeed has pretty much beat me to almost every one of them.

Top movies turning 30 this year? Done.
Top reasons turning 30 is awesome? Done.
Top list of random things also turning 30 this year? Done. (Although that one is mentalfloss.com)
Top reasons Taylor Swift’s epic twenties anthem, “22” is funnier when redone for the thirties? (Done on youtube in song form)

BUT top reasons I’m ready to be 30 based on my responses to the lyrics in “22”?? NOT DONE!

Until now…

(If you’re not familiar with Taylor Swift’s song “22” you can go here, but essentially it talks about the things you do and think about when you’re 22 years of age.)

Top 8 Reasons I’m Ready to Turn 30, Taylor Swift

8. Lyric about being 22: “It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight”

  • My response: I beg to differ. No matter what night of the week it is I tend to be asleep by 10.

7. Lyric about being 22: “To fall in love with strangers uh uh uh uh”

  • Huh, perhaps you have never heard of a little thing called stranger danger?

6. Lyric about being 22: “It’s miserable and magical oh yeah”

  • I mean, sure, although wouldn’t it just be easier not to make everything so dramatic and extreme, can’t we just describe it as “okay”? But brava for the alliteration.

5. Lyric about being 22: “Tonight’s the night when we forget about the deadlines”

  • I know, don’t you love buckling down and getting all your work done early? Oh that’s not what you meant? Oh, well, in that case forgetting about deadlines is really irresponsible and we are going to be kicking ourselves later for that decision.

4. Lyric about being 22: “And end up dreaming, instead of sleeping”

  • You would never suggest that if you knew how much I loved sleeping.

3. Lyric about being 22: “You don’t know about me, but I bet you want to”

  • You’re wondering why I’m wearing yoga pants and sneakers at a bar. And the reason is- because they are comfortable.

2. Lyric about being 22: “This place is too crowded, too many cool kids”

  • Wait, where are we again? We must be in the wrong place. Are you sure we got the address right?

1. Lyric about being 22: “It feels like one of those nights we won’t be sleeping”

  • Oh no, why not? Did we drink caffeine too late in the afternoon? Take a Melatonin, if we fall asleep right now we can still get a couple hours in before the alarm goes off at 5:30.

thirty

To everybody currently in the vicinity of 22 years- enjoy it :)  I totally would have understood the meaning of those lyrics if that song had come out when I was that age, and so should you.

To everybody else who’s closer to 32 than 22 (or if you’re one of those old soul’ed young’uns)- amirite?

When is your birthday? What’s your sign? How old are you turning? Do you like your birthday or does it give you a little anxiety?

 

Happy hump day everyone :)

camel on hump day

Alrighty, so, let’s just jump right in today’s topic shall we?

Yesterday I was thinking about how badly I needed the long weekend that just passed, and I was thinking that needing a break so badly isn’t exactly a good thing. It’s one thing to be excited about a long weekend, it’s another thing entirely to feel like you “NEED” it. I was thinking about why I needed it and I realized that I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself of late. More pressure than is necessary. More pressure than is helpful or motivating. In fact it’s enough pressure to drive anyone a little batty if left unchecked and allowed to spiral.

So today I’ve decided to take a look at the top 10 bad mental habits I tend to fall into. Even though it’s not technically Thursday aka “list day” I’m doing a list. Because you know, I’m breezy!

im breezy

So for the second time in as many days, I present a how-to in reverse:

How to Lose Your Mind in 10 Ways:

10. Procrastinate. (It seems so great in the moment, but the only thing worse than dealing with that annoying thing right now is the dread and anxiety that build from that annoying thing looming over your head and then having to do that annoying thing later.)

procrastination

9. Compare yourself/ your life to others.

the race is long

8. Stay up too late.

sleepy

7. Worry about the “what ifs”. (Ex. What if I try and fail? What if I make a fool out of myself?)

what if

6. Lose sight of the bigger picture. (It’s the fastest way to freak the F out)

freaking out over nothing

5. Don’t heed #6 and freak the F out over the momentary uncertainty of your career path.

glass case of emotion

4. Be critical of others.

sinssaint

3. Stay angry at yourself about things in the past you can’t change.

hey-remember-that-thing-you-did-once-that-youre-ashamed-of-sincerely-your-brain

2. Take yourself too seriously.

dont take yourself too seriously

1. Let the fear in your head be the only voice you hear.

liar

What’s one scary thing you’ve been putting off? Do it today!

What is your biggest mental bad habit?

 

So I accidentally published a draft of this post for about 1.3 seconds yesterday, and I apologize to those who got that automatic email alert fake-out. There should really be an “are you sure?” button that pops up when you hit the Publish button. I meant to hit ‘Preview’, not ‘Publish’, c’mon WordPress, if you don’t have safeguards to save me from myself, how is this going to work? I hope you don’t expect me to take responsibility for my own actions, because lawsuits like the “McDonalds Hot Coffee” case tells me someone else is always to blame for my clumsiness.

Anyhoozle, this girl needs a long weekend like nobody’s business. When was the last time we had a long weekend? Does anyone remember? I don’t. I can’t wait!!

3 day weekend

What will you be doing this weekend? Like many people, you may be attending or hosting a BBQ at some point. Therefore your schedule might be a little nuts, and you may not have time to get to the gym, or wherever you normally exercise, with all the preparations and FUN going on.

But fear not- today we are taking a page from the Chris Traeger handbook, and the world is our gymnasium.

the world is my gym 1 the world is my gym 2

Read on.

8 Ways To Channel Chris Traeger at Your Memorial Day BBQ

8. Is there a pool? Jump in the pool. Pools are not just for kids.

ANCHORMAN

7. Play yard games- badminton, frisbee, frisbee golf (sorry dudes, I meant disc) bocce ball, cornhole, pétanque (can I get a high five from my fellow French majors?? Anybody play pétanque at the french department picnics? No?)

Set up any or all of these games, get a competitive person to play you, and you’ll be sweating in no time.

cornhole

6. Be the bartender. Mix those drinks, shake those shakers, toss those beers, work those arms.

zuckerberg-beer-toss

5. Will there be kids at your BBQ? Give their parents a break and offer to chase after them for a while. Kids are fast.

dash

4. Offer to help the host/ hostess with the food and trays. Run back and forth from the kitchen to the yard with heavy trays full of food in your arms. Your biceps and hosts will thank you. (Don’t forget to smile like Chris Traeger and thank your hosts for allowing you the pleasure of helping them)

knocked-up-party-scene

3. With all those yard games involving balls, frisbees and shuttlecocks going on, there’s going to be a lot of balls, frisbees and shuttlecocks stuck in trees, flying over the neighbor’s fence, rolling down the street, etc.

Be the one who chases down the balls before they roll into the sewer at the end of the driveway. Shimmy up those trees to retrieve the shuttlecocks. Everybody will applaud.

happy gilmore

2. Now that it’s getting late, how are you feeling? A few too many wine coolers? Awesome, walk home! The weather is beautiful, you’re drunk, leave the car where it is and walk your tipsy butt home, you party animal!

old-school-streaking-o

1. DANCE.

the-pete-and-trudy-dance-o

Just dance y’all.

traeger dancing

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!! Remember the sunscreen!!

What do you all have planned?

What’s your favorite yard game?