So earlier this week I wrote about my conversation with my mom and how she said her pants were so loose they were practically falling off and I one-upped her by saying mine actually did fall off. Obviously, we both have a flair for the dramatic. However, suddenly I started thinking about all the possible scenarios in which it’s socially acceptable to de-pant in public.

And then I wrote these scenarios down in a draft thinking I would never publish it. And then I decided to Top 8-ify it. And then I decided to publish it because that’s what happens when you have a blog. Things that should probably stay in your head end up on the internet.

So here you go- the list you never knew you wanted:

Top 8 Scenarios It’s Socially Acceptable For Your Pants to Fall Down in Public

8. You’re under the age of 3. There’s only like a few inches between your waist and your knees anyways, so there’s really nowhere for them to go. Plus, faux pas are still perfectly acceptable for those whose age can still be counted in months.

7. Your diet is going swimmingly. Good for you. Buy a belt.

6. You play sports and you wear those pants that snap up on the sides that you rip off when it’s your turn to take the field.

5. You’re a stripper and you wear those pants that snap up on the sides that you rip off when it’s your turn to take the stage.

4. You’re wearing a dress, but live somewhere cold, like oh I dunno Boston for example, where its negative fug-teen degrees when you walk to work in the morning, and so you wear pants under your dress for the commute and take them off when you get to your desk.

3. You’re wearing snow pants. When you take them off, there’s strategically another pair of pants called leggings underneath.

2. You’re Mark “Marky Mark” Wahlberg and it’s 1992.

1. You’re one of those people who considers a locker room a no-pants zone, and you just entered a locker room. Before anyone even has time to avert their eyes, your pants are off, and you’re just walking around all pant-less and junk. Socially acceptable yes, socially advisable, no.

ryan-gosling-locker-room

Do you know those locker room people I’m talking about? Are you one of them?

When was the last time you found yourself pant-less in public?

Does anyone else live in a really cold climate and wear an extra layer of pants to get to work?

Whats your favorite Halloween candy??

Have a happy and safe Halloween!!!