So, for the most part, I go through life rather sleepy. Like, lets say the energy level of humans can be rated on a scale of Kristen Stewart to Richard Simmons:

human energy spectrum

My natural inclination is somewhere between Sleepy Dwarf and Jennifer Lawrence. Occasionally, I’ll have a Shiloh Jolie-Pitt moment, but those are rare. And I know I’m not the only person who feels this way (despite what my always-energetic mother tells me.) So that got me thinking- when am I actually, truly awake? I then had a whole text conversation with my friend Elyse about it, because obviously its impossible to have a clear thought without texting it out, and based on a population sample of everyone we know, we both think that most people can identify with the following list.

Top 8 Occasions You’re Surprisingly Not That Sleepy

8. You just had a large amount of sugar or caffeine. Because normal amounts of sugar and caffeine simply get you from “barely conscious” to “marginally functional”.

7. It’s 1am, on a weekday, and you have to wake up for work in 5 hours.

6. Something loud happened on the street as you walked by. Despite the fact it did not affect you in any way, your “fight or flight” response just kicked in like that of a gazelle near a lions den.

5.  Somebody just told you a really juicy piece of gossip. (If you’re like me, it perks up your senses like a meerkat perks up when it sees a snake.)

meerkat popping up

4. When commenting on an awesome blog post. Once again, if you’re like me, you enjoy reading about other people’s lives. And you REALLY enjoy when someone touches upon something that makes you be all “I KNOW” or “OMG I CAN’T EVEN” and then you get super excited in the comments and you just wish that you could gchat that person, because you have a lot to say and it would just be easier that way.

3. It’s 6am on a Saturday morning. Because of course.

2. You’re in the midst of a TV series marathon and you only have 2 episodes left. No matter what time it is, if you’ve spent the last couple days watching hours of Orange is the New Black, par example, there is no way you’re going to sleep once you hit the 2nd to last episode.

1. And as Elyse pointed out when I was then debating whether or not to exercise that day: the least tired she is all day is right after she works out. And that’s when I realized, me too.

Moral of the countdown- yay for exercise!

Where do you fall on the human energy spectrum??

When are you at your most awake?

Has anyone seen Orange is the New Black??